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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

THE LAST DAY....


(For the record Erich knew that all of our phone conversations were recorded.)

I am starting at the end.  The last day that I submitted to the control and psychological, mental abuse was February 13th, 2018.  I had asked Erich for permission to use his truck to drive to Springfield and cash a check and also visit and tend to my Flea Market booths.  I had to ask permission to use his truck because we sold my car November 4th 2018 and so far Erich had not decided it was a priority to put money aside so I could replace my car.  I had to drive to Springfield to cash the check because the bank it was written from was an Arvest bank and I can not open a personal checking account until I am able to financially recover from the damage of always making Erich my top priority and giving my money to him to manage as he saw fit.  As of February 13th I had already contributed roughly $1200 to Erich's bank account.  He was in control of making sure the money I contributed was applied to household bills and expenses.  He claims that I spent every dime I deposited but refuses to provide a bank statement to substantiate that accusation.  I save every receipt for every penny I spend and I disagree that I spend all I contribute.  I didn't need a bank statement to check and see who was right or wrong.  I asked for a statement knowing I would never receive one.

On this day I chose to rescue from guitar from the pawnshop it was in due to a previous need for money to give to Erich.  I paid interest on other items I had in pawn as well as some of Erich's items.  I then purchased a giant stuffed monkey for my son Logan to give to his sweetheart the next day on Valentines Day.

Over the course of the day I received communication from Erich through text messages and multiple phone calls.  I don't feel the need to upload the text logs but if I'm questioned then I can happily do so.  When I told Erich I had paid off the loan on my guitar he was angry.  He asked me how I thought it was ok to do that and leave him to pay all the bills himself.  I had already given him my portion of what was owed and when I told him so things got bad.  It's always the way it would go if I thought for myself or stood up for myself.  I knew that I was in trouble and he would be taking away my "truck privileges" to punish me.  I had promised my son that I would have this giant monkey to him and I intended to fulfill my promise.  I chose to drive to Buffalo and deliver the monkey.  During my drive I was harassed and threatened that if I did not turn around and return home he was going to call to report the truck stolen.  I delivered Logan's monkey and I returned home with Chris following to pick up Taylor because at this point I just wanted to leave. I have tried to move out multiple times and every attempt to do so has failed until this last one.  Erich changed the door code as he always does to punish me for disobeying him.

Erich has claimed that I was driving drunk while doing all the things you hear me explaining to him in the phone calls.  He has claimed that he made me leave because I "chose drugs over everything else."  He has claimed that I blow all our money on booze and lottery tickets.  I can disprove all of these claims.  The phone call recordings from that day lean more towards Erich being drunk or on drugs because there was no reason for his behavior.  I lived this life daily for the last 4 years.  I never imagined in the beginning that this would be how it ended but I endured all I could.  Putting my son who still lived with us through the pain of having to witness Erich treat me this way every single day was just selfish.  I love Erich Higgins.  I almost sent Taylor to live with his Dad.  I was going to do this and just do my best to keep my  mouth shut bear the daily verbal beatings, mind manipulation, isolation, fear and degradation.  That isn't love though... And when I told Taylor he would be going back to his Dads he cried.  He comforted me and told me he didn't care where we lived he just wanted to be with me.

I tried to make things work with Erich over and over again.  It is not fair that I get to be shamed and looked down on and I won't stay quiet and accept it this time.  Erich purposely coerced me back into a relationship with him over and over again so he could siphon off more and more resources that he had no right to take.  I freely gave to him time and time again because everytime he made me promises I chose to believe that this time he would honor them.  He has yet to honor any promise he ever made to me and my children.

3 comments:

Niobrara River Gardener said...

OMG...I just read what you wrote and I am so sorry. You need to take care of yourself and your kids. You are so much better than how you have been treated, so talented, an amazing and beautiful person. Do not let someone drag you down like this. I have been through verbal and physical abuse and it can break you. Please don't let it. Is there something I can do to help? Your loving Grandma Doris

ZackGCSO said...

I will start off by saying I am sorry for what you have been through! However I believe there are facts that you have left out of both of your recent posts. And I know Eric and I also have been around you and seen you in action. How many times were Deputies at your past residence when you Drunk had been drinking or appeared on a controlled substance? The reports show every time! What about the methamphetamine Charges against you at the local police department? As of dealing with people who abuse controlled substances you were not in your right state of mind most of the time and both of your post seem to relate to what normal people would do given that had to deal with your actions. Just for the future posts might write in there your wrongs before you try to ruin the face of someone else who put up with you over and over again trying to get you to quit abusing drugs and alcohol.

Unknown said...

I'm not finished and I've also never claimed to be perfect. I also think it's disgusting and cowardly to somehow imply that I deserved to be treated this way for any reason. I didn't edit anything out of the recordings and the only things I will remove from them are names of people that don't need to be included anyway. You are not sorry for what I have been through. You also don't care about facts. The facts are deputies were called BY Me to our residence multiple times in the past 5 months because I called for help. The facts are that if I were trying to hide the facts you mention in your comment maybe I wouldn't have already acknowledged publicly already. You can be assured as I continue exposing the truth with FACTS you will see my mistakes just as openly as his. The only difference is you refuse to take off your rose colored glasses to see anything other than what you've already made your mind up to believe. I am not the one who is going to "ruin the face of someone else." I'm standing up for myself and my children against people like YOU who choose not to gather facts but instead will take the word of one person and excuse abuse.

You can smear me as much as you like and continue to bury your head in the sand it doesn't matter to me. I have publicly acknowledged my wrongs and I will continue to do so. I will face whatever drug charges are handed to me and accept the consequences of my mistakes. However I will no longer allow people like you and Erich Higgins to justify what he has done to me and my children. I was content to go peacefully and each time I attempted to do so HE WOULDN'T LET ME. Can you please just save yourself some serious foot in mouth syndrome until you actually have all the facts. At that time feel free to cast judgement.

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