Last night I was having some trouble getting Emily to eat her dinner. Sometimes she complains when I make stuff too spicy... I like spicy and so does Chris and sometimes I go overboard. Well we had fettuccini, chicken and broccoli. She likes all that stuff but she wouldn't eat. She told me it was too spicy, but I didn't make it spicy at all this time. So I knew she was just making excuses. Anyway it was really frustrating me and I didn't handle it very well, I ended up yelling at her and I'm sure making her feel bad. Later that night as I was laying in bed I was thinking about how I could have handled it better. I should have explained to her that if she didn't eat good food then her body would be weak and she would keep getting sick. She's been sick a lot lately and almost missed school a few times. Then that got me thinking about how I act as a parent.

Have you ever told your kid to do something "because I said so." I know I do this a lot. It is just easier to command obedience "because I said so," than have to explain yourself. I never really thought about it but yesterday I was listening to this Christian radio station and they were talking about parenting and it got me thinking. How would we like it if someone came along and told us to do something "because I said so?" I don't think I'd like it very much. I would like a reason for why. Wouldn't that be better parenting? Instead of just commanding obedience to explain why? I mean I know that sometimes after explaining a child is still not going to understand or they just don't want to do what you're asking them so they refuse to see your point of view, and that would be the time to bring out "because I said so."

Now I just had this epiphany last night so I haven't had the chance to really try it out on Emily, and it's going to take some practice but I'm really excited to see if her behavior towards me changes at all because of this. She's a good girl but I do notice she is in a bad mood a lot lately. She has been sick of course but there's no reason a five year old should walk around with a sour face all the time.

And most importantly... I think if I can start practicing this ulterior parenting method we will have a closer relationship and she will be able to talk to me about anything. Also I think she will be less likely to bow to peer pressure if she expects a reason for having to do something. I mean isn't that what we as adults need when we make decisions. We need reasons why we're going to do something. I think my children should understand why I'm asking them to do something. I'm rambling now so I'll sign off. Everyone smile and hug someone you love. It's a good day :D