I had another freakish dream last night... I got to work as soon as I could so I could get it all wrote down before forgetting it. It's strange how you forget dreams so fast. I never remember the good ones, I just wake up with a happy feeling all day. The bad ones stick with me longer for some reason.

It started out with me waking up late. It was 8:20 AM. I was so upset because I hadn't gotten up to get Emily to school. So I started running through the house like mad getting Emily to wake up and get dressed. While I was getting Logan and Brett ready I was trying to call Chris on my cell phone. I was trying to get him to come and bring Emily to school, but he couldn't because of work.

So I finally get everyone ready and we are getting in the car. We don't have a garage in real life but in my dream we were in the garage. The garage door was open and as I was getting into my seat we were approached by two younger men. They were bullying us, I don't really remember what about but I know it had something to do with them picking on my kids. They tried to shut us in the garage so I couldn't take Emily to school. So I lost my temper and ran the car through the garage door and then started trying to run them over. They got away and I proceeded to take Emily to school.

This is when I realize that I don't live in Missouri but I am back in Las Vegas. For some reason I can't recall I have to take a different way to get Emily to school. I am not familiar with the roads in Las Vegas because I haven't lived there in over ten years. This is all stuff from my dream but some of it is true in real life. I did live in Las Vegas and I could find my way around but I am not familiar with the roads at all. So I decide that my best bet is to get on the Freeway. In Missouri they call them Highway's but there it's a Freeway :p So we start heading that way.

When I exit onto the freeway we are stopped by what appears to be military police. The commander orders us to get out of our car and sits us on the sidewalk under an overpass. All this time I am trying to explain to him how Emily is late for school and I really want to get her there because she has perfect attendance and if we're too late they will count her absent. I was being extra polite because the guy was pretty intimidating. He tells us that we cannot go because we've been "exposed." I realize that they are doing secret tests on humans and they have a bunch of people locked up in cages. I try to act oblivious to this so that maybe he will let me go since I don't expect foul play.

In real life I am extremely careful with my children in public places. I never turn my back on them for a second and I have a hold of them at all times. I've been called paranoid but I've heard too many stories about kids just "vanishing." I am so weird about this that Chris hates going anywhere with me. I'm always telling him "don't let go of Logan's hand," and "don't turn around and leave Brett in the cart." One time he lost track of Emily in Wal-Mart and I about killed him. We found her twenty minutes later but it was the longest twenty minutes of my life. I've never been so scared. Anyway I'm getting off topic but I just wanted to point that out to help show how weird this dream is.

So I'm sitting there on the sidewalk with my kids and this Army guy in charge wants to "check" them. He starts pointing out a rash on Brett and saying things like "he's got it he won't last long." I'm still acting like I don't know what they're doing with they're human experiments and I tell him that Brett has sensitive skin and he's had that rash it's from laundry detergent. That is true and he was trying to take Brett from me and throw him in this ditch of putrid water. So he let me keep Brett. Now all this is taking place under an overpass and just past the overpass is some sort of base. They have it fenced off and guarded and inside it is where they have cages stacked up on each other. They are suspended over the yucky looking ditches.

All of a sudden I can no longer find Brett. I start to panic and look around for him and the Army guy points to the ditch and says "I told you so." There I see Brett floating in the water and he is obviously no longer living. I'm heartbroken and I grab Emily and Logan and we're all crying. The Army guy takes us to some cages and sticks us in one together. It has openings that we can escape from if we want but I'm trying to be good and act like everything is ok and I don't know what's going on. I overhear two guards discussing how they need to eliminate some of the others so that we can be put in a cage without holes.

I am sitting in my cage trying to comfort my kids and I feel my cell phone start to buzz. I realize the battery is going down every second and I want to save my phone for a time when someone isn't looking so I can try to call for help. So I turned it off and some sort of alarm goes off in the camp. The guards come to my cage and start scanning me with these devices that detect cell phones and tracking devices. They eventually decide to take my keys because they think there is some kind of tracking device in them... Ya I know strange. But I still have my cell phone.

We are still in our cage and singing trying to pretend like nothing is wrong when a guard comes up to us and throws something in the cage. I am shocked to see that it's Brett and he's ok! Logan is very upset and really wants to get out of the cage and nothing I can do will calm him down. I am scared that the guards are going to take him away from me. The guy in charge comes over to our cage and lets us out. He takes us out of the camp and to a spot by a river. There are some people camping down there and I try to get their attention without the Army guy noticing. When they finally notice us and come to help us I get out my cell phone and call Chris to ask him to come help us. The Army guy looks at me like I've betrayed him and he's brokenhearted that I lied about having a cell phone. That's when I woke up. Last thing in my dream was the disappointed face of the Army guy because I told a lie.

Strange strange dream but it was nice to wake up and have Brett crawl in bed next to me. He wanted to snuggle up under the covers which he only does when he's sleepy. It did make me feel so much better after such a weird dream.

This was a pretty fun weekend. It was raining Saturday so we didn't have paintball games. Instead Chris and I took the kids to Bolivar and had fun. It's silly how just going to the arcade and letting the kids spend $5 can be so much fun. Chris wanted to show Emily and Logan what he does for his new job, so we took them to Wal-Mart where they have all the games and kiddy rides that he maintenances on his route. Emily and Logan both won some little plastic toys and I won Emily a rag doll. We rented some movies and spent the rest of the night just hanging out at home.

Sunday was great. In our Sunday school class we had an interesting discussion about how we are afraid to express ourselves in worship. We have some people from many different denominations and we all shared experiences in other churches and compared them with the worship experience in our church.

I grew up going to the Mormon church... well at least for the first ten years of my life. What I remember were boring, quiet worship services. I don't remember what was taught even. I do remember the occasional testimony or song and children were encouraged to as they call it "bare their testimony." It's funny I still remember the testimony they taught children. "I'd like to bare my testimony I know this church is true I love my mom and dad my brothers and sisters Amen." It's more like programming than testimony.

Anyway some of the others in the class had been to other denominations where worship service was much different than our services today. Basically I left the class with the feeling that there really is no right and wrong way to worship. Most churches follow a ritualistic way of worshipping, they do the same thing, the same way all the time... I suppose there is nothing wrong with that but it does seem to get monotonous. Other churches have a spontaneous type of service. I think they're all fine and dandy. The one thing I believe is anything we do in a worship service should be prompted by the Holy Spirit. The motive should be to bring Glory to God, not attention to yourself. The people in our class talked about going to other churches and feeling like people were competing with each other to show who was "holier." For example during the pastors prayer others in the congregation would pray as well, so loudly that it became a shouting match between the different people giving the prayer. I've never experienced this so I don't know how I would feel about it. Maybe it was just God's spirit leading and everyone may have been really blessed. I also suppose you can't please everyone. There is always going to be a handful of people not happy, no matter how you conduct worship.

After church we headed out to the Paintball Field. The weather was so nice yesterday, just perfect for playing. We had some new players come out and all together there were eleven of us. I even got to sneak in two games. I reffed the rest of the time. I even got shot right in the middle of the chest the very first game. I was like HEY what the heck don't shoot the reff LOL. It hurt. There was one new kid who'd never played before and I felt so bad. The two games I played I shot him out both times. The first time was in the midsection... yes it's where you're thinking... and the second time was right in the butt. He really thought I was out to get him.

I did take a few pictures but didn't get any of me since Chris was playing both games I played. It was really enjoyable and even though a few of the new fella's were not the best sports I think everyone had a good time. Emily and Logan invited their cousin Devin to come out and play with them. They didn't play paintball but they have fun running around picking up the balls off the field before and after games. The picture of the kids is Emily my daughter and Devin my nephew. Also the picture of the little kid in the mask and armor is not the one I shot :p

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Today is pretty dead for a Friday. I'm just sitting here reading the newspaper... not much really going on. These are some of the stories in this weeks local newpaper ;)

Bautista trial for shaking baby will begin March 20....

Ok I totally don't understand WHY it takes so long for a criminal to go to trial. This woman Melinda Bautista, a state certified day care provider, allegedly caused the death of an 11 month old baby from our town April 14th 2005. It's such a sad story and I don't understand how a person could harm something as innocent as a little baby. The family of little Madilyne Wentz started a shaken baby foundation for the Ozarks.

Survivor to hold a Nixa casting call...

Six seasons ago local Heidi Strobel got her wish to be on the Survivor tv show... She's the one who stripped for peanut butter... Joy! Hopefully if anymore Missouri residents get their chance to be on national tv they won't be so fake... Just my humble opinion :p

Nothing else really interesting in the newspaper :p But Logan sure is being funny. I brought Oreo cookies to work with us today and he keeps trying to do good things to get another cookie.

I found these the other day and just wanted to post them cause they are so funny. Chris was probably around 18 so his would be from 1992ish... I was 16 so mine is from 1996.

Thirteen Things I Can See From My Desk 1... A Star Wars Tie (If you wear this you're a true fan) 2... Cases of Chicken Noodle Soup 3... A Lava Lamp Shaped Like A Ketchup Bottle 4... A Chicago Bulls License Plate 5... Kick'n Paintballs 6... A Mossberg 2o Gauge Shotgun 7... A saddle (Giddyup Horsie) 8... Diapers Size Extra Large 9... High Visibility 80ft Extension Cords 10... A Christmas tree (I really need to take that down) 11... 50 Porcelain Dolls 12... A Bat Model 13... And Friskies Meow Food (Yum) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)

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Dreams are so weird, especially mine. I will have dreams sometimes about Chris being mean to me or cheating on me and I will seriously wake up mad at him. Or I will have a dream that he did something really super nice and I just can't stop hugging him. My dreams can be just plain weird. Kind of like the one I had last night. I usually forget what I dreamed by the end of the day but I'm going to blog this one, it was that strange.

It started out with us moving to an old abandoned nursing home. It was the kind you see in all the scary movies. There was a small living section in the front and then a door leading to the rest of the building. In my dream Chris had to get up and go to work early in the morning. We were all staying in the same room since it was our first night staying in our new home, if you can call it a home.

Now I hate taking showers when Chris leaves before I get out of bed. I always feel like someone is going to sneak up on me. So in my dream of course, I had to take a shower that morning. To take a shower I had to walk to like the middle of this huge building to a public type bathroom. I was so freaked out by this place and I had a horrible feeling of dread that I gathered up the kids to leave.

As with any dream there is always something to keep you from leaving. My "something" was the fact that I couldn't get to Brett's baby formula. It was in the kitchen area which we were escaping out of but I just couldn't seem to get my hands on the stupid can. Eventually I got it and we made a mad dash for the car.

In real life we drive a big Ford Econoline Van and it needs a brake job. In my dream we were driving an old hearse station wagon... We had to climb in through the windows, and they didn't roll up. I started up our ride and was heading to the "candy shop" where Chris worked.

We were pulling out of the drive when we notice some scary teenage kids on skates and skateboards chasing after us. Apparently they do not want us to leave this nursing home. So I'm panicked because of course the car only goes so fast and the brakes are not working right. They grind really bad and don't stop the car all the way.

So we're running from these scary demon teens and one of them is flinging a string with a hook on the end of it at us. The hook catches me and lodges in between my two front bottom teeth... I am driving, trying to keep my kids calm and yanking at this hook all while trying to get to the candy shop and avoid traffic since my brakes do not work at all by this time. When I finally pull this hook loose, I also pull loose two of my teeth. I don't know why but that is one of the most common things in my dreams. I am always losing teeth.

We finally arrive at the candy shop. There are people there from this town we live in that apparently do not want us to leave the nursing home we've moved into, so they don't want to let me in. I dodge them and finally make it to the counter where instead of Chris my mom and dad are working there. I tell my mom "I'll take a red pop, a round chocolate and a peppermint." I say nothing about the scary teens chasing after me, or my missing teeth. I woke up after that and couldn't go back to sleep.

Ever since I had my first child I have not been into watching scary movies. I am afraid of the dark and scary movies only make it worse and give me nightmares. I know there are bits of that story that resemble things going on in my life. Chris just started a new job and he leaves before I take a shower, we need brakes on our van and I am constantly running out of baby formula for Brett :p I think that I officially have the weirdest dreams EVER. What are dreams all about anyway? There couldn't possibly be something to all the weirdness I dream about? I'm going to start writing these things down to see if there's some kind of pattern. The only similar thing I see so far is the teeth part. What's up with always losing my teeth. LOL

The coolest thing happened to me this morning. You might not think it's so "cool" but I did, and it's my blog so :p I went through McDonalds to get some breakfast this morning. I always pay with my debit card and I hardly ever carry cash. Well they were having some trouble with their credit card machine so my card wouldn't work. I told the woman it would be okay I could just come back with cash. Well she handed me my food and said it would be ok she didn't want me to be late for work. I thought that was pretty nice. I think she was just going to give it to me since they would throw it away anyway, but I came back and paid for it. The ladies behind the counter all acted shocked that I actually came back with the money. I said I would and it wouldn't be right if I didn't. Anyway I thought that was pretty cool that they were nice enough to let me take my food with me instead of sending me on my way empty handed.

Emily was so excited. Yesterday her name was read over the loud speaker as a reward for all the reading we've been doing. Her school is doing the "Book It" program right now and Emily has read 120 books. She has the most stickers in her class and some of the other Kindergarten classes have students that have more than her so she is really wanting to catch up. Since she can't read yet we have to read the books together. I enjoy it and Logan gets to listen too. His favorite book is "Bug House."

Logan and Brett both have colds right now. I hate it because when they get a cold I have to give them breathing treatments. Their asthma really gets bad when they have any type of respiratory infection. Brett wouldn't hardly sleep at all last night. Not only did he have a cold but he is still cutting teeth. He has two molars that just won't come through the gums.

Chris started work at his new job today. He had to drive back to Arkansas for some training and orientation. His job just keeps getting better and better. He found out today that the company pays for his insurance and it's group rates for the rest of us. Also they have a safety incentive where if there are no accidents within 90 days all the employee's get a $300 bonus! That is so cool. He gets paid every two weeks and it's a direct deposit which makes it even easier. The lady who first interviewed him is coming to pick him up tomorrow from our store and then he gets to go get his company truck. He really is excited about this job and seems to be enjoying himself. I am so glad he didn't get the city job he applied for. This is definitely a much much better job.

??Love??

Isn't Love a funny thing? Something that has the potential to cause two opposite feelings, either intense pleasure or extreme pain. There's also so many different kinds of love. The love you have for your children is so different from the love you have for your spouse. So what is love really? I know it's a feeling we have for someone or something but isn't it also more than a feeling?

The greatest example of Love I've ever encountered is Christ's love for mankind. He sacrificed so much just to save us all from death. And it's unconditional. He didn't do that for us in exchange for a little favor in return. It was his gift to his beloved. I never had that kind of love in me until I had children. I would gladly die to save the life of one of my babies.

I have a question though. If you truly love someone doesn't it show in your actions? Can you honestly love someone yet ignore their desires and plea's for affection? If I ignored my husband and didn't try to support him and only focused on my own desires would that mean I don't love him?

I read this on msn Today. For those who don't feel like reading, it was basically an overview of a relationship where the wife feels neglected because the husband is focused on himself. Through counseling the husband and wife both come to realize they each needed to make compromises. They worked it out, but if they hadn't would that mean they loved each other any less?

This is a weird post and doesn't make a lot of sense but I didn't get enough sleep last night and I'm in a weird mood today ;) I love you Chris!

Paintball Yay!

Last night Chris and I went to Springfield with Chris Thomas, Sharon and their two kids to watch the Kick'n Paintball Tournament. Now I have the itch. I wanted to play so bad last night. Today is kind of dreary and cold but I still wanna play. I'm letting myself get sidetracked by the computer. I am supposed to be doing a mad cleaning job on my house and get some laundry done before noon so I can go out and play. I need to find a babysitter for Saturdays too. It's hard to get to play when I have to bring the kids with me, and they really don't enjoy going when it's cold. I think Chris's mom probably gets tired of having them every weekend. I just don't know anyone else.

This is an old picture of me playing paintball but I haven't played much lately so I don't have any good new ones. I know this is a short post but I'll bring my computer home later tonight and ramble on some more. HAPPY SATURDAY!

Thirteen Things I have in common with The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. 1. I've never plucked a rooster 2. I'm not too good at ping pong 3. I've never thrown my mashed patato's up against the wall 4. I've never kissed a chipmunk 5. I've never gotten head lice 6. I've never licked a spark plug 7. I've never sniffed a stink bug 8. I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball 9. I've never bathed in yogurt 10. I don't look good in leggings 11. I've never been to Boston in the fall 12. I never thought I'd like a cartoon with singing vegetables 13. I never thought I'd know all the words to every Veggietales song ever sung... The last two were my very own ;) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Lisa 2. Dariana 3. Whiskey Talking 4. KDubs 5.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Today Is A Good Day!

Logan had his doctor appointment today. His sleep test (EEG) was normal, that is good news :) His doctor suggested we enroll him in an Early Childhood Development program. He said they could help diagnose him if he has autism. There is no programs in our area so that's not an option. Logan will be able to go to Head Start this coming year and next year. I think that will help him a lot, to be able to go to pre-school for an extra year to be more prepared for the real thing. The doctor made us an appointment with a neurologist but it isn't until May 1st. That's such a long time away. We're going to work with Logan until then and monitor him to see if his behavior and speech improves.

Chris finally got a call back on his job. HE GOT IT! I am so excited for him. It's funny though, he has to drive to Arkansas tomorrow for the drug test. I guess that is where the main company is located. It still just seems funny that they would require a new employee to drive three hours for a drug test. Chris wasn't about to complain though, he is so happy. I think he's even looking forward to the drive LOL. It will take around 48 hours before the results are in, not that we have anything to worry about. Chris is as squeaky clean as they come. :o)

It was funny how everything worked out. Chris was using the wood splitter to split wood to sell. Then a guy he knows came along and wanted to buy the load of wood we had for sale. So Chris was excited about that and then before he got even ten pieces split the motor blew on the wood splitter! Chris was so upset. We couldn't sell the load of wood now because we couldn't split it. I tried to cheer him up and tell him not to worry, it could be worse. Then a few hours later he got the call on his job. :) God is good ;)

Poor Chris!

I feel so bad for Chris. I think the stress is really getting to him. We still haven't heard anything on the job he applied for. He called them again yesterday, but it was a holiday and they were closed. I am trying so hard to be cheerful and help boost his spirits but I'm starting to worry too. I can see how bad he wants this job and he thinks he will really like it. I know it would make him feel so much better to be out there doing something and making money. We work doing so many different things but never make any money. It's like we're cursed LOL. No, I don't really think that. I just think we have to find the right thing. I'm hoping and praying this job will be the right thing for Chris.

Emily's friend Lauren came to play last night after school. It is so sweet watching them together. They are "best friends" as they say. They were playing with Barbie's and having a tea party. Of course it was sad when Lauren had to go home but Emily was trying to be good and not cry.

They are doing a change drive for cancer at school and Emily was excited getting up this morning. She has a bunch of change to put in the buckets. The grade that raises the most change will get a popcorn party. The last day to bring in change is Friday so it's getting close. Right now the first grade is in the lead and kindergarten was last until yesterday. A teacher passing by in the hall seen Emily putting change in yesterday and commented that the kindergarten bucket had over $50 in it that day. So now they are in second place. Emily wants to empty her piggy bank, and since it's for a good cause we're going to let her. She just has to space it out so she has change to put in each day until Friday.

Brett is getting new teeth. The poor little guy is really having a hard time. He is getting six teeth at once! One of the top ones has poked through and he has another on top on the other side that is still trying. The bad part is his bottom row. He is getting two molars and they are really hurting him. I felt his gums this morning and one finally has started to poke through. It's been bad because he's had these two large lumps where they are coming in and they are just like blisters. Really squishy and so big. I've been putting anbesol on them for him and giving him tylenol. I will be glad when he finally gets the teeth and quits being so pitiful.

Logan's doctor appointment is tomorrow at 9am. It's going to be a busy day I'm sure. Luckily Chris will be here at the store with Brett and I won't have to take him. It's so hard taking him and Logan to the doctor at the same time. I will be glad to finally find out the results of Logans sleep test (EEG).

I skipped out on paintball yesterday AND today. It felt good just to hang out at home with the kids. Emily got a good dose of being at home so I think she's ready to get back to school tomorrow. She did the silliest thing. Last week she took another book to school for her teacher to read to the class. It was a Max Lucado book called "The Crippled Lamb." So her teacher apparently loves the author. She let Emily borrow all her Max Lucado books. There were seven of them. Well Emily went to school the next day and told her teacher that I was not happy. What the heck??? Where did she get that? When I seen she had the books I told her to be sure to be very careful with them, and when she dropped her backpack on the way home I got onto her a little bit. I cannot figure how in the world she thought I was "not happy." When I picked Emily up from school her teacher was apologizing and I felt so bad for her. We were very happy she thought enough of Emily to lend her those books and I hate it that she thought I was upset. I asked Emily why she told her that and she just said she didn't know. She finally said she meant to say I was really happy. I think she was just talking and not even paying attention to what she was saying.

Church was really great today. The preacher was so funny. He used props in his sermon today. He preached about the story in Acts when Paul is putting wood on a fire and a serpent bites him but he does not die. The illustration he used was about the fire. Christians should be on fire for God. Paul had to put wood on the fire or it would go out. As a Christian we also have to feed our flame, and just like Paul there are serpents waiting to strike us. Satan is always just around the corner waiting to attack. With the power of the Holy Spirit though we can resist these attacks.

Another illustration the preacher used was water. Water puts out fire. He said he sees a lot of people going around putting out Gods fires. He gave some examples like gossiping, complaining, lying and with each example he dumped a little water on the floor in front of the pulpit. It was so funny because one of the older ladies in church just about died when he actually dumped out the water. He kept telling her to hold on, don't worry, it'll clean up.

I really like his message. It made me realize that to stay on fire for God you do have to work. The wood is not going to get up and walk to the fire. If I had to build a fire right now I would have to go out and gather the materials I need. I don't think God wants a select few to do all the gathering either. I think we all need to get off our butts and work. I'll use our church for an example. There are three types of people. The older group who has served and is now passing the work to the younger generations. The younger group who pitched in for a while but grew bored and quit. Then there is the few who are actually doing all the work. I don't know if this is the way it is in other churches but should we have to beg someone to teach a Sunday school class? Should there be a committee for every tiny decision that needs to be made? Should the same people be expected to always carry the load? I know we are all called to do different things but it just seems these days people just want to come to church, no one wants to participate.

OH BOY! Chris and I are doing inventory today. Yes I know we're a little late but I thought I had this all taken care of. I'm not the best book keeper but I'm learning as I go. :) It is such a pain having to input all this information into our Quickbooks program. We just finished with the ammo and the scope accessories. I think that was the hardest part. We're taking a short break now. Chris is calling to find out about his job and I'm eating some lunch while updating my blog. Yummy Chicken Noodle Soup. Still no word on the job yet. Chris just got off the phone and the lady said she should know something by the end of today. The suspense is killing me.

Poor Brett has had a fever since yesterday afternoon. He's not feeling well at all. I made him some macaroni and cheese for lunch and he's making a terrible mess. Logan is playing with is dinosaurs, I can never get him to eat anything. I took some pictures, Logan had me take a picture of each one of his dinosaurs lol. He has such a dirty face!

Yesterday around closing time my dad's ex girlfriend Jamie came into the store. I talked to her for almost an hour. I feel so bad for her. My dad came and took their two year old son away from her because she has been bouncing around from house to house, doing drugs and sleeping around. He didn't want their son Clayton in that environment. My dad has had him since November and Jamie misses him so much. My dad is trying to get custody and can't let Jamie see him until he does or she might take off with him.

I can't imagine how badly I would feel if someone were to take one of my children from me. But she was not providing the best care for him and he was in danger. I wish she could see him. Jamie has told my dad she has changed and isn't doing drugs anymore but I think she may be lying. When she was talking to me yesterday she did not look at me once. We talked for an hour and the whole time she was always looking the opposite way, never once even looked at my face. That is typical behavior for someone who has something to hide. I tried to talk to her and tell her I care about her but I don't know how to help her. It's such a sad thing.

Thirteen Things about KristieSue Ok I'm going to try this cause it looks fun. Hopefully I'll do it right :p 1. I love to play paintball. 2. I never thought I'd want kids and I now have three and wouldn't trade them for anything. 3. I want to learn how to cook more nutritional meals for my family. 4. I love to color my hair. 5. I love to take pictures. 6. I love to sing. 7. I like to read self help books. 8. I worry too much. 9. I get excited over silly things, like getting a new cook book. 10. I have a great husband. 11. I love going to church. 12. I have never had a broken bone. 13. I love blogs they're so much fun! Links to other Thursday 13's I visited. 1. Dariana 2. Jen 3. Rachael 4. Jane Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Poor little Brett bumped his head on the coffee table last night. He was doing so good walking around and then he took a sharp turn and fell. He was so upset poor little booger. He has a big mark on his head today. I can't believe how fast he is growing. I also can't believe how attached he is to Chris. He actually cried the other day when Chris handed him to me! I was heartbroken :(. He is always crawling around saying "Da da da da Dad." He wakes up in the morning saying "Dadda da da da Dad." Once in a blue moon he'll say Ma when he wants something, but it's usually to get him out of his bed so he can go play with DA! It's cute and Chris really soaks it up.

My hair is so red! It faded right after the first time I colored it so I did it again. I like it a lot! Emily was sad and said she wanted her hair to be red too! Chris and I told her we really liked her hair and she was too young to color her hair. We have a rule that she can't wear make up and stuff until she is 16, so we told her when she was 16 she could color her hair if she wanted to. She was happy after that.

Emily's eyes looked really good this morning. There was no drainage at all and the redness is almost gone. We went ahead and put eye drops in just in case, before she went to school. She is such a good girl. She loves to play Gauntlet on the X-Box. We let play about thirty minutes a day but she has to be good or she will lose time. She's always trying to do good things to earn more time to play. It's so cute.

Chris had to take Logan home from church last night because he had an accident. It was a messy accident. :x So I was alone in our Bible study class trying to teach. We were studying a little bit about repentance. One of the things we discussed was what are some behavior characteristics of true repentance. I think I said that right. The kids just listed off some things they think that change about a person when they are saved. They mentioned things like the music we listen to, the way we dress, the way we talk and the way we treat people. It was a really good class the kids actually opened up and talked about the subject, instead of talking about paintball or what was on TV this week.

A lady called today to ask to speak to someone about references for Chris. It was funny. I told her I was the only other person who worked here and I was his wife. She asked if she could go ahead and ask me some questions anyway. LOL I thought that would be pretty biased but went ahead and answered her questions. I felt so awkward because I didn't want to lie and I didn't want to answer all the questions perfect for Chris where she might think I was lying. She only asked me like four questions and I was so nervous. Now I'm sick to my stomach thinking I might have said something to make him not get the job LOL. I'm sure they won't base their decisions solely on what I said but I am praying so hard he gets this job. He is so excited and was telling me last night how if he gets this job he is going to work extra hard and try the best he can to do a good job. He really wants to impress them and work hard. I hope they call tomorrow. I don't know how much longer I can take the suspense!

Emily Drama!

I feel better today physically but I am a mental case. For example, I got a call from the school nurse saying Emily needed to come home. They said she has pink eye. I was so upset I was almost crying. Emily has perfect attendance at school and she is very proud of it. I just knew they were going to count her absent and she would be so upset. Well I got to the school and the woman in the office was extremely short and rude to me. I was just asking if they were going to count her absent. When she told me yes I asked if there were any way she could please stay. I started to explain and she cut me off and told me to go talk to the nurse. That is understandable but she didn't have to be so rude.

So I got to the nurses office and she was out to lunch. There were a few aides in the room so I started to explain to them and ask if Emily could stay in school. They weren't quite as rude as the woman in the office but they also told me I'd have to wait for the nurse to come back from lunch. So Emily and I waited for the nurse for like thirty minutes.

Now I'm not trying to go against school policy. If Emily had pink eye I agree, she should be sent home because it is extremely contagious. However, I do not believe she has pink eye. Her eyes have been red for probably two days. I think they are irritated from being in the basement when we were working down there. She hasn't had any drainage which is what happens when you get pink eye. She just has allergies. I didn't want her to be disappointed about losing her perfect attendance when she really doesn't have to.

The nurse was really nice when we got to see her, even though we interrupted her lunch. She took us down to Emily's classroom to make sure it was ok with her teacher if she stayed. Everything was fine and Emily was so happy. I can't believe how upset I got. How silly of me to be ready to burst into tears over something so silly. When I left I was so happy. I felt like I'd just beat down a big bad bully or something LOL.

I remember when I was in the first grade I had perfect attendance until I got sick one morning. I begged my mom to let me go to school and I cried and cried. She wouldn't let me go because I really was very sick. She was right not to let me go but I still remember today how disappointed I was. I suppose that is why I felt so bad for Emily. I think the nurse and her teacher must've thought we were both insane, begging for her to be allowed to stay. I promised them that if we saw any sign of drainage we would keep her home tomorrow. I'll be sure not to let Emily go down to the basement for a few days.

No News On The JOB!
We still haven't heard anything back about Chris's job. He went with his Dad today to help him do some work on the backhoe. I don't understand why his Dad keeps taking jobs that he can't do without Chris. I guess he doesn't think Chris will actually get a job. I really think it will be such a good thing for our family. Chris will be so much happier not having to fight with his dad all the time. I know I will be happier not having to hear about the fights. I will be able to rebuild my respect for Jim (Chris's dad) by not having to hear about their daily arguments. I am a little worried that Jim may need Chris's help though. I would hate to see Jim suffer financially because he can't take on jobs without Chris's help. He hasn't said anything about it and if he doesn't I am going to force myself not to worry. I have a feeling that is the case but I don't know for sure and I really need to stop with all the worries.

Bible Study
I read the whole book of John yesterday. Sometimes I get so bummed out with reading my Bible because I really don't know what to read and I don't feel like I ever learn anything. So yesterday since I was laying around all day being sick I picked up my Bible and just started reading. I chose John because we've been discussing this book in Sunday School. I didn't read my commentary, I just focused on the words of John. I just wanted to add this scripture to my blog today. No matter how crazy I feel, no matter what Satan throws at me, I know I'll be ok because Jesus has said no one can snatch me out of his hand. I am safe :)

John 10:24-30
Then the Jews surrounded Him and said to Him, "How long do You keep us in doubt? If You are the Christ, tell us plainly." Jesus answered them, "I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in My Father's name, they bear witness of Me. But you do not believe, because you are not of My sheep, as I said to you. My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. I and My Father are one.

I have been so sick today! Some stomach flu or something. This year has been the worst for me. Usually I never get sick. Once in a while I'll get a cold or something but I've been sick like ten times since September. I stayed home with Logan and Brett, Chris opened the store.

The lady came to our store to interview Chris for the job he's applying for. Chris said it went really well. The woman was nice and easy to talk to. She told him that she wanted him for the job, especially since he lives in town. I don't know if I mentioned what the job was. It is a vending machine route. It pays good and has dental, eye and medical insurance. They also provide a company truck for him to drive and a gas card. That is totally awesome. He hasn't "for sure" got the job yet. The woman said she would call him at the end of the week to let him know. I'm really excited and so is Chris. He seems so happy and I love it.

It is supposed to snow tonight. The news said five to eight inches possible for our area. Chris has plans to use his dad's backhoe to push snow tomorrow if we get enough. He usually makes pretty good money doing that. Emily won't have school if we get any snow at all. She made me play Gauntlet with her earlier. That game is so frustrating. You have to stay right next to the other player or you get stuck all the time. We read some bedtime stories after that and she's asleep already. Logan keeps trying to sneak into my room. I don't mind him sleeping with us but he sure does kick hard, so I'm trying to get him to sleep in his own bed.

I was reading my Bible earlier and Emily wanted to hear the story of Moses. I don't know why but that is the story she always asks to hear. She especially likes the story about his birth and being put into the river. It really got me to thinking. God really used Moses to do some really great things. Moses also went through many trials. Wandering in the wilderness for forty years had to really stink. I can totally relate to how the Israelites must have felt during this time. I've been feeling that way for the last two years. I just feel like I'm going around in circles and not accomplishing anything or moving forward with my life. I can't imagine how they must have felt wandering for forty long years with no real direction.

God didn't just do that to be mean though. I know it was a punishment but punishment is like a lesson right? God was molding them to become suitable for what he had in store for them next. He had to let some of the older more stubborn folks die off. That sounds harsh but wasn't that the point? They disobeyed God and he took away their chance to see the promised land. They died in the wilderness and their children inherited the promised land.

Maybe that in a sense is what God is doing to me. I was reading in one of my old journals. It was from April 1999 to April 2000. I can't believe how different I was! I am so glad I keep journals. There is so much you can learn about yourself by going back and reading old entries. I think God is definitely killing off my bad habits and molding me into a better Christian. I know this is going to be a life long process but I also have a feeling he is going to let me into the promised land. I don't think I have much more wandering left to do. I'm not talking about Heaven. I hope I have a long life left to live. I want to raise my children and grow old with my husband, but I just have a feeling something good is just around the bend. I could be totally wrong but that's been known to happen with me :p A LOT LOL.

I'm praying for strength and courage to face whatever is around the bend. Seeing Chris so excited about our future and having him in such a great mood has really inspired me to just open up and not be afraid to hope for something. A lot of times I'm so afraid of disappointment I don't let myself hope for anything. These are the times I so easily fall into despair. Even if it's not this job for Chris, something is coming I just know it. :o)

Sundays are usually the craziest day for our family. We all have to get up early and get ready for church and usually Chris and I end up in a fight. Today was different. I got up early and got dressed before anyone else woke up. Then when Chris got in the shower I went and got him some breakfast. That was something we fought about last Sunday because we didn't have time for breakfast and Chris was hungry. The kids were easy to get ready and we made it to church on time!

Sunday school was a total bore though. That really stinks because usually that is my favorite part of church. I love to learn new things and hear the opinions of the other people in our class. I just wasn't very in touch with what was being discussed. I suppose you have to relate to something to have any interest in it. The topic was about whether all Christians are disciples or just some. We also discussed spiritual gifts. That part was interesting. Although I'm not really sure what my spiritual gift is. The conversation sparked my interest though and I'm going to find out. I know I love to sing and the words to a song can mean so much to someone but I'm not sure if this is a "spiritual" gift.

During services the kids were really good. Chris and I were both able to actually hear Brother Brad's message. He preached on Matthew 14:22-31. The part that really spoke to me was verse 31, when Peter was sinking in the waves Jesus reached down, caught him and said "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" Peter had trusted Jesus when he told him to come to him on the water. It wasn't until Peter began to look around him and see the crashing waves that he became afraid and began to sink. Isn't that so like me? I have faith, I trust in God and I know he will give us what we need. Then I start to get caught up in the world and I start to sink. The great thing is all it takes is for me to reach up and grab the hand of Jesus to pull me out of the mess I've put myself in.

Chris is applying for another job which he has an interview for tomorrow at 11:oo am. This is an interesting job, and Chris really seems to think he will like it. I am scared to get my hopes up since he didn't get the last job we thought would be so perfect. In a way I am almost sure he didn't get that job because this is a better one. I'm really praying things go well and if they don't go as we plan I pray God will give me the strength to deal with the disappointment.

Paintball was next after church. I really wish we didn't have open play two days in a row. I know it's a business and we have to do it but I think we've actually split our player base. Instead of getting everyone out on one day of the week they are split between two days. It is also such a chore to do it two days in a row. We don't have a day off to just relax as a family. I know Emily feels the strain. She really didn't want to go Saturday but she had to. Hopefully we'll be able to decide which day is best and drop the other. I'm hoping for no more paintball on Sundays.

I got shot so much today. I hurt my back a week or so ago doing something, I have no idea what. I know it's not excuse, I just stunk! I totally had Kelsey this one game, and when I shot at her MY LOADER WASN'T ON. Therefore no paint exited my barrel. I was laughing my butt off. I can't believe I didn't turn my loader on. I did shoot a few people and I was on Chris's team each time so he wasn't able to get me ;) Paintball is so much fun and I really love it, but I've been losing interest. I think I need a new paintball gun ;) I'll have to sell the one I have first.

I noticed I haven't been posting any pictures lately. Anyone who knows me knows I love taking pictures and sharing them. So even if these have nothing to do with the topic or topics here's some pictures ;)

I'm Hitler!!!

Like I said, I shouldn't freak out until after we've had a chance to talk. Well we got our chance to talk and things went well. I think I know why Chris always takes the things I say the wrong way. He told me that if I could just be as sweet and broken in the beginning of an argument as I am at the end of an argument he could deal with me. But he says I start out arguments acting like Hitler. I LOVE that he gave me some feedback. I mean if he didn't tell me I would probably never have seen this. From now on when things start to get hairy I can watch myself and be sure not to over react.

Chris was really sweet. He told me he didn't want to argue with me he just wanted to be friends. I am so lucky to have a husband who can put up with my crazy times and still want to love me in spite of them. I guess I should be doing the same thing for him. Instead of getting all bent out of shape over little things I should love him in spite of them. I do most of the time but I could improve.

We went to the paintball field this afternoon. Not very many players came out but we had a few. I didn't play because my back is killing me. I don't know what I've done but something is not right. Someone gimme a massage!

To Early For Conflict!

Chris told me Thursday night he would work on the house some before going to the paintball field today. This meant that I needed to open the store. So I got out of bed this morning and started getting ready. At almost 9:00 this morning Chris jumped out of bed saying he needed to hurry and open the store. I told him I was going to open and he had totally forgotten about his promise. Understandable, everyone forgets. So he stayed home to do some stuff.

At like 10:00 this morning he comes in the store and starts telling me how he needs to go buy some lumber. I wasn't trying to contradict myself about wanting to get some work done on the house but I said we should wait on buying anything. Right now we don't have any income. Chris and I are both applying for jobs and until one of us gets one we need to be really careful with our money. I wasn't trying to say we shouldn't do any work. We have stuff we can use right now. Why can't we do that stuff? I thought it would make Chris happy because he wouldn't have to do anything today. I want to get stuff done but I don't want to be irresponsible and go spend money we don't have.

Chris immediately got angry with me. Some of his paintball friends walked in as we were starting to argue and there is nothing I hate more than having someone see us argue. So I tried to just stop talking and Chris told me "You have no idea how mad I am right now," and he walked out.

We don't see eye to eye on something. I'm not trying to be difficult, but I want to finish our house. I wish we could communicate better. When I say something it's like he totally hears me wrong. Then I have to try and explain myself. He thinks I always have to be right. I don't know if this is true or not. I feel I am right about this and Chris won't talk to me about his feelings most of the time so how can I know if I'm wrong? I feel so badly for Chris having to put up with my brain. Half the time I am fighting a war in my mind and when it spills out of my mouth he has to put up with it too. It's not really fair to him but I don't know what else to do. I'm sure things will change as the day goes on. Chris always gets so angry with me but he always softens up and we make up. But then I still have all these thoughts and don't know how to deal with them.

Was I wrong? Should I have just said to go get the lumber and supplies? Which is more important, being financially responsible or getting what I want? I guess I shouldn't freak out until we can finish talking.

What a day!

I am so glad things went well and we won't have to do this again. Logan did really good staying awake. He played on the computer and ran around the house like a crazy kid until 12:30 am. We woke him up again at 4:00 am. This was tricky. I put him in the bathtub and washed his hair. This helped him to wake up. He played on the computer again while I got dressed and we took off around 5:30 am. His appointment wasn't until 7:30 but I couldn't sit around the house and stay awake.

I drove to Springfield alone with Logan so it was tricky keeping him awake. I brought his blocks and let him sit in the front seat. I turned the light on above his seat and talked to him the whole drive. He tried to nod off once or twice but I interrupted him each time with a silly song or more goofy chatter. When we got to Springfield he was so funny. He kept calling all the big trucks "Power Ranger Trucks." Everything is a Power Ranger to him.

At the hospital it only took a few minutes for them to admit him. Then he got to ride down the hallway in a wheelchair. He loved that. We were early of course, so we had to wait about 40 minutes after being admitted. Logan played peek-a-boo with people getting on and off the elevators and slipped and slid around the floor in his spiderman slippers. I can't believe how much energy he had. I was exhausted. If he would have sat still for a second he'd have been asleep.

When we got in the sleep room we got to sit on the bed while the nurse stuck all these little probes to Logans scalp. They had to glue them on because Logan kept trying to pull them off. By then he was a little cranky and she was interrupting the cartoon he was trying to watch so of course he wasn't cooperating. It took about ten minutes to stick all the probes on and then they turned off the lights and we lied down. Logan was asleep in less than three minutes.

They monitored him sleeping for about 45 minutes. They had me wake him up a little bit at a time while they stuck a strobe light right in his face. That was pretty weird. Then they had to use this solution to get the probes and glue out of his hair. He hated that. He kept telling them "OUCH You hurted me." Poor little guy. He really did a good job though. I had to carry him back to the car when we left. Man that kid weighs a ton.

I was shocked that I made it home without having to pull over. I was so tired. Logan and I crashed on the couch when we got home around 9:30 am. We woke up around 2:00 pm. I am still in a zone and can't wait for bedtime. Logan is still going 100%. Where do kids store their energy?

Change of Subject.

Last night I didn't get to sleep until 2:00 am or so. When I was trying to stay awake I figured it would be a good idea to catch up on some chores around the house. Chris was playing games on his X-Box. I mentioned to him that I could use some help. Fourty-Five minutes later, when I had finished everything he got up and took out the trash. Now this is not a husband bash. I make a point to try and only say positive things about my husband. I am just writing down events that lead up to my breakdown. It bugged me that Chris didn't get right up and help me when I asked. I kept stewing over it as I did more laundry.

Now a little background is needed to fully understand my breakdown. We are a family of five. We live in a two bedroom home. The basement of our home is unfinished. Since I met Chris we have been trying to finish it. When it is done there will be three bedrooms, a laundry room and a bathroom down there.

As I was picking up the house and doing laundry I kept seeing all the clutter. The kid's bedroom is the worst. We just do not have enough room. So I was letting myself get angry at Chris. When we finally laid down to go to bed I was writing in my journal and doing what I don't do here, complaining about my husband. Anyway Chris and I got into an argument over this. Finishing our home is something I desperately want but really can do nothing about. It's not like I can go down there and frame the walls. I'm angry about all the empty promises from Chris to work on the house. It makes me resent things that Chris enjoys doing like working on the paintball field, and the store. These are good things and I don't despise them really, it's just the fact that they are important to him and our home is not.

I am a really emotional person. I let things like this build up to where I just want to walk away and never return. I don't know how to deal with the disappointment. If I were to never say anything about our house I feel like Chris would never do anything. He says that is not true but I don't agree. I need to honor and respect my husband. I am trying. How can I get this out of my system? How can I not focus so much on what I want and instead focus on what I have? I am so grateful for our home and our family. I get so mad at myself when I start to despair over things I want but cannot have. Why?

It's like I'm fighting a war with two sides of myself. There is the part of me that wants to look on the bright side of everything and be content with what I have and where I am in life. Then there is the side of me that feels betrayed, angry and taken for granted. I suppose I will always have these two sides of myself. My spirit fighting against my flesh. At least God is faithful and I have him to rely on. I sure can't rely on myself as emotionally unstable as I can be.

I really wanted to post this. I was looking over my posts and I don't want to seem like a blind Christian who sees only good in everything. I know there is good and bad in everything and my life is not perfect. The only way I can deal with the curves life throws at me is because of Gods protection and Holy Spirit inside me. Praise God I don't have to go through this alone.

Can it be? Autism in the family?

Wow! I didn't know so much could happen in a few days. Well as I posted before we seen the news program about Autism. That sparked some interest in me to do some digging. I found an Autism Characteristic Behavior list on the internet. Out of 28 symptoms Chris and I think Logan has 14. I printed this list to take with us to the doctor yesterday. Brett got his normal twelve month checkup which included three shots and a finger poke. Poor little guy. Logan on the other hand was a lot more complicated.

The doctor checked his tonsils but of course Logan wouldn't open his mouth so I don't think he got a really good look. Once again Logan has ear infections, so he is on antibiotics for ten days. When the infection clears up he has another appointment. We also discussed our concerns about Autism with the doctor. I showed him my list which he made a copy of for himself. The doctor asked lots of questions and I think the list really helped him to take us seriously. We also told him about the staring spells Logan has. They last about thirty seconds and nothing can break Logans concentration until the spell is over. You can wave your hand in his face, shake him and even get right in his face and yell. He usually snaps out of it in thirty seconds or so, looks at you and laughs. He's so funny. I just thought he was being silly but Chris's mom thought he was having seizures.

Logan is scheduled for an EEG test tomorrow morning. It's going to be a crazy night at our house. The test requires that Logan be sleep deprived. This means we have to keep him awake until midnight then he can sleep until 4:00am. We have to wake him up then and keep him awake until his appointment in Springfield at 7:30am. That is going to be quite the task, especially keeping him awake during the 45 minute drive to Springfield.

I've been trying to read up on autism but it's so confusing. There is not a lot known about it and I don't even really think for sure that is what Logan has. We are just going to go with the flow until we figure something out. In two weeks when he goes back to the doctor he may just get his tonsils removed. If that's the case and his speech improves then we'll go from there. His speech is not the only thing we notice about him that is different. This is the list of characteristics we found. The ones with a * in front are the ones we believe are similar to Logans behavior.

no speech
*non-speech vocalizations
*delayed development of speech
*echolalia: speech consisting of literally repeating something heard
*delayed echolalia: repeating something heard at an earlier time
confusion between the pronouns "I" and "You"
lack of interaction with children
*lack of eye contact
lack of response to people
treating other people as if they were inanimate objects
when picked up offering no help (feels like a sack of potatoes)
*preoccupation with hands
flapping hands
spinning
balancing e.g. standing on a fence
walking on tiptoes
extreme dislike of certain sounds
extreme dislike of certain textures
*dislike of being touched
*either extremely passive behavior or extremely nervous, active behavior
*extreme dislike of certain foods
*behavior that is aggressive to others
lack of interest in toys
*desire to follow set patterns of behavior/interaction
*desire to keep objects in a certain physical pattern
*repetitive behavior (perserveration)
self injurious behavior
*islets of competence, areas where the child has normal or even advanced competence. Typical examples... drawing skill, musical skill, arithmetic, calendar arithmetic, memory skills, perfect pitch.

I'm going to keep looking into different neurological disorders, I want to be sure to get as much information as possible. If anyone knows anything I'd appreciate the information.

Chris and I spent almost the entire day in Springfield going to the doctor and running errands yesterday. After the kids appointment we ate at the Olive Garden. Yum. Logan loves the breadsticks and olives from the salad. Then we picked up paint for our paintball games this weekend. We had a good turn out last weekend, the weather is supposed to be really nice this coming weekend so I hope we have another good turn out.

I stayed home from church last night with Logan and Brett. I changed my hair color. :D It's amazing how doing something as simple as coloring your hair can lift your spirits. I'm sure it's just a chick thing ;). I am now a red head! Chris likes it and that's a good thing ;). Brett kept looking at me funny this morning, like he didn't recognize me.

We got Emily a Gauntlet game for the X Box yesterday also. She loves that game and would play all night long if we'd let her. We let her stay up past bedtime last night, and she was a bear this morning. Her mood changed when I threatened to not let her play gauntlet tonight though. She's addicted for sure. I love my family. Life is good :D.

Good Bye Holidays! See You Next Year.

Life back to normal after the Holidays! I'm so glad. It's so funny, the vacation time you get during holidays is supposed to be relaxing but I think I'm more worn out. It's been a roller coaster the last three months anyway with the store and always being strapped for cash. That's still something we have to deal with but things are going well. Spring is just around the corner, and even if Chris ends up back in construction for the summer I think we have a promising future. I think I'm learning to be content with not knowing what's around the next corner. In the past I've always been so wrapped up in planning and needing to know what was coming next. If I can just get out of that way of thinking, I can eliminate most of my stress load.

Emily was so tired getting up for school this morning. I started her back on her 8:30 bedtime last night. She didn't like it. She kept making excuses to get out of bed. I think she finally fell asleep around 10:30. She was pretty tired getting up this morning but she wouldn't admit it. Poor girl. It was pitiful and I felt bad for her but I told her to go to bed. I bet she listens tonight ;) She took a newspaper to her teacher this morning. Emily and Joshua danced together in their school Christmas play and their picture was on the front page of the newspaper. It's been so cute this whole week with everyone complimenting Emily on having her picture in the paper. She gets so embarrassed and hides her face. It was such a cute play and it was neat that they used that picture on their front page.

I am making a doctor appointment for both Brett and Logan. Brett needs to go in for his 12 month checkup, which means he gets shots. Poor baby! Logan I think needs to have his tonsals removed. They are swollen to the size of quarters and he snores so bad. He's even been having nose bleeds and ear infections. I've also been told it would probably help his speech improve. I know his hearing is fine, we had it tested last year. He'll be fine with getting them taken out I'm sure. He loves ice cream and popsicles. The trick will be getting him to eat regular food again after being on popsicles for a week.

There was a news program on Fox last night about Autism caused by vaccines. The little boy they showed was six years old and some of his mannerisms were so much like Logan is was scary. I am going to try to research Autism using the internet. Logan isn't like other kids. He is smart but in odd ways. His speech is not very good for a three year old, although it has improved in the last year. I finally got him toilet trained last October even though he still wets the bed. I could be just paranoid but I would like to know if there was something not right about my son.

I LOVE PAINTBALL!

Here's the paintball pictures! This is me all ready to play!

My husband Chris

Mitch on crutches. He even played one game.

Don't know this kid but that was a nasty shot.

For The Love Of Bloggs!

It's funny I originally started this blog to help my Mom who moved to Hawaii keep up to date on the happenings with our family. She loved it because she felt like she was closer. I love it because it's fun. I have always kept diaries and I even keep a diary for each of my kids. This to me is a diary I can share with people. It also feels good to be able to sit down and type out my feelings. I am able to sort out my emotions better and be more positive about my life. Call me weird but blogging is fun!

If you didn't already know my middle name is Sue. Chris (my husband) has always calls me Sue, Sweety Sue or Suey Sue. I always know when he's annoyed or mad at me cause he calls me Kristie. Last night we stayed up late to watch the New Years Eve shows. We were both in pretty good moods when we went to bed and I was teasing him a little. I asked him if I died and he married a girl name Sue would he ever call her Sweety Sue or Suey Sue. I'm sure all you guys just love those "if I died" questions. I wasn't expecting any sweet "oh honey I'd never get married again" answer. That's just unrealistic. He said ya, if he married a Sue he would eventually probably use the same nicknames. I laughed at him and told him it didn't matter, cause I was the first ;) It was so great. I fell asleep knowing that each day that goes by my love for Chris grows a little more.

I don't usually do the whole New Years resolution thing. Every time I've tried I fail and it never feels good to fail. I think I found something I can do that even if I fail, I can feel good about. Psalms 62:8 says Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. That is my new years resolution. I am going to try every day to trust God more and tell him what's in my heart. I know the Bible says God knows my heart, but why would he want me to pour my heart out to him? I've been thinking about this all day and I know why. It's not for the sake of telling God anything, he already know everything. Pouring my heart out to God will bring me closer to him. It will help me to strengthen my relationship with him and be able to trust in him more.

I didn't get the paintball pictures from Tony (Chris's friend) yet. We did play yesterday and had a lot of fun. There were about 20 players. I was so happy to see them all come out, because Chris has been so bummed out about the lack of business for the paintball. This really helped to boost his spirits and show him that he is doing a good job. He loves what he's doing and he works hard. I am blessed to have him. I Pray for him to succeed and accomplish his goals.