I was just sitting here looking at some of the pictures I have on my computer and I thought it'd be fun to just post a few.

This is a picture of my and my older brother JR when we were just little munchkins...

This is Chris and his sister when they were little munchkins ;)

These next few are some of the really cute ones I just love of my oldest daughter Emily when she was just a toddler. She is almost 6 now... I can't believe how fast the years have gone by...

Emily in the tub :p

Emily in a box :p

Funniest picture of Emily EVER! LOL

Emily 3 years old.

Emily 4 years old

Emily's Kindergarten school picture 2005-2006 School year.

Now let me dig up some Logan pictures... Probably not many of him as a little baby on this computer but lets see...

This is Logan at about one year.

I took these two photo's the morning of Logan's second birthday :D

This pic is too funny... Logan is laying on his belly watching TV... Chris does this same thing LOL

Poor Logan I have the least number of pictures of him... Probably cause the little stinker will never hold still long enough for me to snap a shot. Next are some of Brett.

There's nothing quite like a new baby :) Brett just a couple days old.

Brett started losing all his hair hehe he looks so bald here.

From bald to chubby :p

This is the most recent picture of Brett I have on this computer.

Now I have some other miscellaneous pics to add just because :p

Ya I don't look happy but I was ready to pop and it was cold outside :p

I don't get to take many pictures of Chris but here we are when it was just the four of us... I think this was taken April 2003

And this is the last one just cause I'm so ready for SUMMER! This is me and Emily on our vacation to Florida. I think this was taken 9-11-01 which was mine and Chris's two year anniversary.

It's great to get a day off during the week :D Taking Thursdays off was the best idea Chris has ever had! ;) Emily got to go play at her friend Lauren's house yesterday. She had to come home early because she had a fever though :( She seems fine today, her eyes still look a little weak but I'm gonna bundle her up on the sofa down here and make her rest.

Ok now one of my serious addictions is watching American Idol and The OC... I know why I love American Idol but I can't believe how addicted I am to The OC. It's a lot of drama I guess. Everyone needs their weekly dose of drama and I don't watch daytime soap opera's so The OC is it for me. Now the show is full of teenage drama mostly but surprisingly not a lot of sex, which is a good thing because I hate tv shows that promote promiscuity. Anyway I was really disappointed in last nights episode because that is ALL that it was about. Not really worth watching. I don't care about the sex life of Seth and Summer I want drama! :p

I haven't spoken to my brother recently but my Mom sent me these pictures of his foot. KIDS NEVER PLAY WITH ANYTHING EXPLOSIVE!!! I know my brother, JR will probably never enjoy fireworks again. This is horrible and it's been weeks since his accident so I'm sure there's been some healing and it doesn't look as bad as when it first happened. In case you're new here my bro was planning on exterminating critters out of their holes on a golf course. Unfortunately he was using home made firecrackers or something like that to do it. Originally the police said he was building a pipe bomb, but he informed them otherwise. This looks like it really hurts. My poor bro :(

My boys got haircuts today :D I even thought in advance to take before and after pictures. Logan is looking soooo good now, he was like the shaggy dog LOL poor guy. You can finally see his ears! You can really see the bandaide on his owie :p Emily pushed him off the couch. You can't tell much difference in Brett but he was so cute. He was so good sitting there in the chair. I think he actually liked getting his hair cut. He almost fell asleep :p So here are the pictures of the boys. I didn't want to leave Emily out, she finally lost her tooth the other day so I am adding a picture of her showing off her missing tooth.

Here is Logan before his haircut LOL he looks like a little girl :p

Here is Logan After his haircut. Handsome DUDE! ;)

Brett Before his haircut.

You can't really even tell he got a haircut. This is after.

Now here is a picture of Emily fooling ya'll by looking oh so sweet :p And one of her showing off her missing tooth.

Additional postings on this topic

Additional postings on this topic

If there were a picture of innocence...

This would be it!

These are pictures of Madilyne Wentz.

Wow! Back in January I posted a bit on my blog about Melinda Bautista.(click on the name for a link to the post) She is the woman "accused" of being responsible for the shaken baby death of little Madilyne Wentz. Ok I am still getting comments on this post. A lot of people are telling me I should "hold my tongue" and "not judge" and they are probably right. I am sorry for making it seem as if Melinda Bautista is already been judged guilty. My original intent of the post was to show my dismay on the fact that it has taken this long for a trial to take place. I mean come on! Not only for the victims sake and their family, but surely the accused and her family would like for things to proceed and be done with.


Anyway take a look at some of the comments and put me in my place. I am more than willing to admit my wrongdoing. I stand firm in my belief that Melinda Bautista was the caretaker for Madilyne Wentz and she was "responsible" for her safety and well being. Even if she did not commit this terrible crime she is still in part responsible for it happening at all. Shaken Baby Syndrome is not an accident. She could be innocent and I am probably partial to the family of the child since they are local and you can't help but feel angry over the wrongful death of a baby.

On another topic... In my profile just the same as in everyone's profile who uses blogger, my astrological sign and zodiac year are listed. I did not personally do this myself. I place no hope or faith in horoscopes or astrology. All my hope and faith is in God and he is the one I look to for answers not my horoscope. Just wanted to make that clear.

All that is said in regards to the email I received today... Posted below

KristieSue,
My Bible - The International INDUCTIVE STUDY BIBLE ( New American Standard Bible) tells me as a born again Christian I am not to have anything to do with horoscopes. Deuteronomy 18: 10-14. "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord: and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord your God. For those nations, which you shall dispossess, listen to those who practice witchcraft and to diviners, but as for you, the Lord your God has not allowed you to do so.
I went to your sight for another reason but the first thing I found was your horoscope.
As for the other reason - You are quick to tell Jan that she was not present so she could not know the truth. Seems to me KristieSue that you were not present and do not know the truth and yet you have judged and convicted this woman and you are doing it to a woman who is your sister in Christ. I do not know this woman nor the victim's family so I have passed no judgment but I know that the Lord has laid this woman on my heart from the day it was printed in the Altus Times of her arrest and I have been praying for the woman and her family. Everything I have heard about the arrest is hear say but I have been told the woman is a born again Christian and has witnessed to other prisoners in jail and they accepted Christ into their lives. The only thing I can do is follow what the Lord has laid on my heart and pray and let God take care of my sister in Christ. He is the All Knowing One and knows the truth.
You are very young and if you are truly my sister in Christ I feel I should admonish you to be careful with your tongue.
Jewell,
Altus, OK

This is testimony of a mother who went through something like this. I read this today and cried. Just wanted to share it.

Food for thought
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found>recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Ehhhh? What's that? You talking to me??? I am totally deaf... I have had the worst cold, flu or whatever it is for the last week. First it was just and ear infection in one ear and that was bad enough. I could hardly hear it was so plugged up. NOW I have an ear infection in my other ear so I am like totally deaf! I gave in and made me a doctor appointment but I can't get in until tomorrow. I am such a great wife that I went ahead and let Chris take the appointment for today at 4:00 and I settled for the 2:20 tomorrow. :p

It all started last Tuesday. Brett and Logan were really sick so I stayed home with them and caught their bug. I was sick Wednesday but I made it through a whole day of work. Thursday Chris and I took Logan and Brett to the doctor because they just weren't getting better. The Doc hooked them up with some antibiotics YAY! Now all three of my kids are on something that I have to remember to give them and Logan has to take his FOUR times a day. That is such a pain. Anyway back to the story. Logan really had us worried because he started getting sores on his mouth and in his mouth. When he was a baby he had the same thing and it hospitalized him because it went into his throat and was causing him to not be able to breath. He is looking better though Thank God :)

So Thursday night I was in horrible shape. The whole right side of my face was just killing me. I couldn't hear and I couldn't breath half the time. We don't have insurance on me and Chris yet so I was really trying to avoid a doctor visit. Friday I went to work but closed early after picking Emily up from school. I was feeling a bit better Saturday just a little deaf which is good because that is when Chris caught the funk! I had to run the paintball field all by myself! He was so sick he just sat in the van with the heater cranked up. Thankfully I have some good friends who were nice enough to help me out a little. It was a fun day of paintball even though I didn't get to play.

Poor Chris is sooooo sick. Sunday we all missed church and with me being sick and having to take care of Chris and the munchkins I am surprised I am still alive :p Chris missed work yesterday but he was nice enough to keep all the kids at home and I had a peaceful day at work. Now here I am I woke up last night with another ear infection in the other ear and I'm deaf as can be :p I made the doctor appointments so hopefully Chris can get some good antibiotics and get to feeling well again. I hate seeing everyone sick and I hate being sick and Holy Cow you should see my house. It's like mass chaos... Pizza boxes here, dirty clothes there, dishes piled high in the sink. I need to hire a maid just to come clean it up for me :p

In spite of being sick I must say I feel really HAPPY. I am blessed with so much I just feel so giddy. That could be the DayQuil but I still feel happy :p God is good and I don't deserve his blessing but he keeps on showing me how much I'm loved. Take time today and tell someone you love them :D

I have a crazy neighbor... Does anyone else have a crazy neighbor??? I mean like officially, certifiabley nuts??? Ok all our neighbors are really annoying but the one across the street is a total wacko. He used to be normal, I know this because we went to school together. He's done way too much crystal meth and it's totally ate up his brain. I can't tell you how many times I've been woken up by him screaming at someone, or being arrested. He'll be out in his yard burning brush and just start going off about something. He lives in his Mom's house but she doesn't live with him. She is a caretaker at a local nursing home so she lives there and just comes every so often to check up on him.

Ok so last night right as Chris and I were heading to bed we heard a loud bang. We were like "what the heck was that?" Our basement doors blew open in the storm we had the other night so Chris went downstairs to see if that's what we'd heard. It wasn't. So we finally just went to bed. So I'm laying in bed and I hear this pounding... It's weird, not like a knock and I can't tell if it's coming from our house or not. Chris gets up and looks around... nothing... so back to bed we go. Then we hear a horn honking... honk honk honk... Chris's work truck has an alarm on it because it is always full of product and sometimes money from machines so we immediately thought it was the alarm on his truck going off. We jumped out of bed and raced to the window.... We have a perfect view of our neighbors garage with the door open and him inside his truck doing something we have yet to discover.

Now the last time our neighbor went to jail I do believe he also lost his drivers license. His Mom and Dad took his truck away from him for a while and just in the last few weeks I've noticed that it has been back at their house. Well apparently they moved it into the garage and he doesn't have keys to it because I'm assuming he has no license to drive.

Chris and I sat at the window and watched our neighbor beating on his steering wheel with a hammer... Then he'd fiddle around under the dash... I thought he was trying to hotwire the car. I was almost right. He was messing with the wires to get the lights to come on and was messing up and causing the horn to start honking. He was beating on the steering wheel to break the lock so it would steer... OKAY!!!

Then I see him start to push his truck down the driveway... He was trying to push start it. In case anyone doesn't know you can push a standard and pop the clutch or something and start it without a key. I think that's right it's been a long time since I've drove a standard. Anyway he gets his truck into the middle of the road and it stops. THEN he comes to our house! It's midnight! He knocks on our door... Chris answered the door and the whole time I'm freaking out. I did not want Chris to answer the door. Anyway when Chris opens the door our neighbor says "uhhh Adam?" Chris was like "ummm no" so then our neighbor says "Ohhhh Chris ya uhh could you come give me a pull start on my ranger out here?" WHAT THE HECK??? It's midnight why in the crap did he come ask us??? We aren't friends with him and we don't talk to him. So Chris makes some excuses and after much begging from our neighbor Chris finally decides to just go do it and get rid of him.

As soon as Chris walks out the door I called the cops. I'm not trying to be a busy body or anything but I just knew he was going to flip out on Chris when he couldn't get his truck started. So I called the police and told the dispatcher what was going on and that I absolutely didn't want our neighbor knowing I had called the police. So they sent a cop out. Chris had pushed our neighbors truck down the hill and it still didn't start. When I looked out the door Chris was talking to the cop and our neighbor was walking back up the hill. So Chris said goodnight to the policeman and came inside. Well when he got up to the cop car he starts screaming at the cop... calling him a terrorist and saying weird stuff like "I'm an American you bleeping terrorist." Anyway he cussed and screamed at the cop for like five minutes and kept yelling "Get out of here! I'll kick your butt blah blah blah." And get this... The cop drives away...

Ok right there I lost all faith in the local Police Department. WHAT THE HECK??? Our neighbor was obviously messed up in the head either drunk or on something and he just drives off??? So then I was like ya I'm not going to bed tonight. All I could think was our neighbor was going to come over again and he is insane. So I watched out the window. He kept coming in and out of his house. Everytime he would walk outside though the police would drive by. It wasn't making much sense to me. I was wanting them to just arrest him so I could go to bed. Well finally he walks out into the street and two cops pulled up and got out to talk to him. They put him in handcuffs because he was belligerent. I couldn't hear all that they were saying except when our neighbor cussed at them and screamed his head off. Well they didn't arrest him! I couldn't sleep all stinking night because I just knew he was going to be mad and know I had called the cops.

Anyway it's daylight now and I have my shotgun close by... or neighbors truck is still down the hill and I just know he's going to come knocking on my door later to ask me to help him get it started. Ya Right! I will totally not answer the door, and I'm now totally freaked out about leaving the house with him right next door. Scary neighbors suck!

Yay! And now it's clean :p

I'm going to clean my desk :) Here's what it looks like now.

What a night! We had some crazy storms and multiple tornado touchdowns within a 50 mile radius of us. Our town must be like a geographical safe zone because the storms always seem to just miss us. I'm not complaining though believe me.

After church yesterday we took the kids to another town and went to Bass Pro. We never go there to shop cause stuff is unbelievably overpriced, but the kids love to go look at the critters and the indoor waterfall and of course, ride the elevators. So we spent all afternoon in Springfield. Our main purpose in going was to take Emily to the doctor. She has a sinus infection but was well enough to go to school this morning. She is soooo wanting to have perfect attendance, especially since she is now the only one in her class to hold this title. She's very proud.

Anyway we got home and I went to church by myself last night. It was peaceful :p When I got home we were watching the news to see how bad the storms were going to be. I am from Las Vegas so I don't like thunderstorms in Missouri... Well around 9:30 pm the power went off, so I had to track down candles and flashlights and find the little battery powered radio. I was actually in the middle of doing this when the power went off. We listened to the radio for an hour or so and the storms were popping up everywhere. One storm went North of us but there were some really strong winds coming our way. There were two storms to the South West of us going North East so I was sure we were going to have to make a run for the basement.

We finally piled Emily and Logan into bed with us, the power was still off but I was listening to the radio. The power came back on so I decided I'd go watch the news and stay up just in case. Well I woke up to Chris saying to me "Some watchdog you are" LOL I fell asleep and the tornado sirens were going off and a tornado had been spotted 8 miles South West of us. I can't believe I slept through it. The sirens went off like a minute after I woke up so we didn't have to go to the basement. I know that there were a lot of towns around us that were hit either by strong winds or an actual tornado. I am thankful we were missed but sad for those who weren't so fortunate.

We're having some serious weather tonight. There are tornado warnings for all of Southwest Missouri. I'm so thankful we have a basement. It will be even better when we get the house finished and all our bedrooms are in the basement. I'm not a big fan of storms so I know I'll feel safer knowing we won't have to jump out of bed in the middle of the night to scram downstairs.

We had to quit playing paintball today an hour early because it started storming. We headed out to the field early because we had a ton of stuff to set up. Chris bought a bunch of used stuff from Matt at Springfield Paintball and we brought it all out to the field to put in the store. We rearranged the tables inside the paintball building and set up some displays. The floor was totally disgusting... It rained last weekend too and there was mud and paintballs everywhere. We got it all cleaned up just in time. Everyone showed up and played till it started raining.

We took the kids to Springfield last night. We got Logan a new car seat. It was so funny, we were in Walmart and he sat in like three different seats, trying them all out before he decided which one he wanted. :p I should probably get Emily one too... It's more like a booster seat. I know lately they've been making a big deal about making sure kids stay in a booster seat until they're like 100 pounds. Logan's seat was kinda falling apart so we thought it was a good time to get him another. Chris brought his keys and checked all his vending machines while we were at Walmart and the kids got to play but we didn't win any stuffies... we have enough of those anyway.

I don't have a lot more to blog about so I'm once again adding a picture that's totally off topic :p This is my Mom and my brother JR. I got an email from my mom saying he is doing pretty good. He got his stitches taken out of his hand today. There were 100 of them and apparently it was really painful because they were touching nerves. They still haven't done the skin graft for his foot. He will have to be in the hospital again when they do that because they will be removing skin from his butt :p Gonna have a sore bum for a while :p No more playing with fire.

Oh boy... I just wrote out a whole post and then something stupid happened and it got erased... So I have to try to remember everything and rewrite it... I hate it when that happens.

I spent all day without internet yesterday AND I'M STILL ALIVE.... That's amazing. I don't open the store on Thursdays and the router for our wireless was messed up and the IP didn't get around to fixing it yesterday so... no internet. I had to watch The OC all by myself :p

Wednesday night was great at church. We had two extra kids in our class and everyone was having a good time and we had some really good discussion about the third commandment. We didn't actually finish our lesson because we were talking so much but here is what I got from it.

We're supposed to love God and honor him and to take his name in vain is not honoring. In short, taking Gods name in vain refers to the abuse, misuse, blasphemy, cursing, or manipulation of the Lords name. Kind of like when my sisters used to call me Suey... Now I don't mind the nickname Suey cause Chris calls me that but when my sisters called me Suey they would make it sound like the pig call... "Suuuuuueeeeeeyyy" That bugged me... I'm sure everyone has an example of someone misusing their name.

Now here is the section I don't really agree with... It's not that I'm twisting scripture to make it fit my needs cause I'm NOT but here I'll just show you and you can decide for yourself. Here is a quote from the lesson we used, "Sometimes people substitute words (euphemisms) for the name of God. For example, "Gee" or "Golly" is sometimes used in exclamations."

I don't really agree with that statement. The reason is that I don't associate "Gosh" "Gee" or "Golly" with God. When I pray I don't say... "Dear Gee or Dear Golly" You get my point? So if I don't use those words to refer to God then how can they be a substitute? I did used to say Oh my God and now say Oh my Gosh and Holy Cow and Oh man so maybe I am just using those words to substitute for the word God. Ok I am but I'm having a hard time seeing how the scripture says we aren't supposed to do that.

Here are some of the scriptures...
II TIMOTHY 2:19: "Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity."
Ok so I get this one. Christians should do their best to depart and separate themselves from bad things or iniquity... Saying Holy Cow isn't bad though.

ROMANS 2:21-24: "You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal? You who say, 'Do not commit adultery,' do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who make your boast in the law, do you dishonor God through breaking the law? For 'the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,' as it is written."
I get this one too because when we are not practicing what we preach then we are trashing the name of God and making him look bad.

LEVITICUS 22:31-32: "Therefore you shall keep My commandments and perform them: I am the Lord. You shall not profane My holy name, but I will be hallowed among the children of Israel."
Again keep the commandments and don't make God look bad.

Matthew 22:40 Christ asserts the proper attitude we should have towards God: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment."
And once again love God.. I really don't see how this makes saying Golly and Gee a bad thing. I could be wrong and this is all my own personal convictions. When you have kids I think it's really important to explain to them WHY it's not ok to say Oh My God and that it's not the same thing when you say Oh my goodness or holy cow. Emily came home one day saying Dammit... and we don't curse at all at home so we had to have a discussion. Apparently her little friend at school had been saying it and that's where she picked it up. So we explained to her that we don't use that word and why and that if she ever hears another word that she doesn't know she needs to ask us before using it. She's come home with other words but they've all been ok to say but she knows to ask first. I asked Emily the other day if her friend was still saying bad words and she told me that she told her it wasn't a good thing to say so she'd stopped.

So my final answer is that no it's not bad to say oh my gosh, holy cow and oh my goodness. I don't think it's the same thing. But like I said it's my conviction and just like some people think women are supposed to ALWAYS wear dresses because the Bible says for women to dress modestly, I think it's a personal preference. I don't feel guilt for wearing pants and I don't feel guilt for saying Holy Cow... Now if the Bible said for us not to use substitute words then I would have to change my opinion.

Ok now totally off topic I am adding a picture of Brett. :p He has the longest eyelashes...

I don't have much to blog about today. It's been a pretty boring day. We're studying up on the third commandment at church tonight. Do not take the name of the Lord God in vain. This should be interesting because I am all the time hearing people say you shouldn't even say Oh My Gosh or Oh My Goodness or Good Lord... I say all those things but I don't ever say Oh My God... so we'll just have to see I don't really have an opinion as of yet but I'm sure I will after church tonight.

I took these two pictures of Brett earlier and they really crack me up. He's too funny.

DON'T EVER TAKE JUICE AWAY FROM A BABY!

It's amazing how a few days off can really help relieve stress. I've been stressed to the point of tearing my own eyes out the last few weeks and I took off Saturday and Sunday. It was great. I didn't do a thing, well except housework but that was more therapy. It feels good to have a clean house :) It was great to be home with the family all day Sunday and not have to run the entire day. Of course we went to church which was great too. Sunday night at church I didn't have to worry about whether or not the people behind me could see the paint in my hair cause I didn't have time to shower after paintball that afternoon. And I wasn't dead tired when I got home so I feel very rested.

I may not be taking my trip to Nevada to see my brother as I had planned. We have a lot of stuff coming up in the next few weeks and I'm afraid if I take off for five days it's going to really put me in a bind. I also have been dreading the long drive with five kids... three of mine and two of my sisters. I feel guilty because I would really like to go hang out with my brother and lift his spirits after his accident but I'm just not having the best feeling about going. Usually before taking a road trip I'm excited so this constant dread feeling isn't very comforting. I am not looking forward to telling my sister though because she'll be pretty disappointed. Maybe this summer we can go and it will be better timing. I just know right now is not a good time.

My brother seems to be doing better. There is still no word on whether the authorities will press charges and he may have to move because his landlord is totally freaked out. I really don't blame the landlord. I would be having a cow too if my renters were playing with explosives. I haven't talked to JR in about a week now so I don't know if there are any recent developments but I assumed he'd call me if there were. I better not assume though :p I'll have to call him when I get home tonight.

We are having a big paintball game in April. I'm hoping it will really help boost our attendance on Saturdays throughout the spring and summer. We're going to give away lots of prizes and it should be a fun for all day since its not really a tournament. We are having trouble lining out people to help us with the event. All of our friends seem to be uninterested and there's just not enough of me and Chris to go around. It's funny how you lose friends when you stop giving them stuff. I guess we're better off to lose those friends though.

Oh by the way just to be weird today everyone meet my friend Chris. This is not my husband Chris this is my friend Chris. He's a single white male, and he's not one of the bad gimme friends. Meet Chris. Nice boat :p

I had a horrible dream last night. Horrible and weird as usual. I don't remember all of it but here's what I do remember. For some reason Chris and I were afraid that someone was going to come in our house and shoot us. Weird cause I don't have any idea what the reason was. So I set up this trap that would alert us if anyone came in the front door. I don't know why we didn't just lock the door lol. I always do the weirdest stuff in dreams. Ok so we left the door open a crack and I stacked a whole bunch of cups right against the door. It was rigged up so that when someone would open the door the TV would get louder. Very strange lol. Ok so I set this trap up and went in and laid down in bed. Chris and I were talking and all of a sudden the TV starts getting louder. So I freak out and grab my pistol. I don't know why Chris didn't grab the gun, he is the man after all. He just lays in bed lol. Then this guy comes to our bedroom door and starts shooting. He hits Chris once in the side and me somehow in the butt... no fair... Ok so then I start shooting him. I hit him like three times and the dude just runs out the front door.

So then my handgun is empty and I don't have any ammo so I grab the shotgun. We spend a sleepless night waiting for this dude to come back. In the meantime it seems Chris doesn't suffer at all from his gunshot wound. I however pulled a bullet out of my butt cheek. Man that's weird.

So then all of a sudden I look out the bedroom window and there is this car down below our house. Apparently I'd had a dream the night before in my dream about a car bomb blowing the walls off our house where our bedroom was. So when I seen this car out the window I immediately knew something bad was going to happen. So I grabbed the kids and yelled for Chris to get out of our room. Seconds after we ran out our bedroom door the car blew up and of course blew all the windows and walls off the side of our house...

Then my dream turns into something totally different. All of a sudden some chick is in my house hitting on my husband! I'm like "hey what the heck." Now I used to have dreams all the time that Chris would cheat on me or be mean to me because of another girl and I would always wake up mad at him. I know it didn't "really" happen but I seen it in my dream so I was upset when I woke up :p.

Anyway this was the same kind of thing. In my dream I was all upset over this girl cause Chris was nicer to her, wanted to hang out with her and just wouldn't listen to me that I didn't want him to. This time I didn't wake up mad or anything but I hate those kinds of dreams. After my last dream I was ready to do some reading and find out why you dream weird stuff and if it even means anything. I never did, I'm lazy. I might this time... or I might not.

On a totally different subject, my wonderful children who I love dearly have lost my keys. I had to call someone else to get a key from them to open the pawnshop this morning. I called Chris all upset because I know I didn't lose them. I had them yesterday afternoon when we loaded the paintball stuff because I used them to unlock and relock the door. One of the kids had to have taken them out of my purse at the paintball field. Chris kept telling me to look in the van and the house and my purse because they would be there somewhere. It was really making me mad because I'd already done all that. I'm not stupid. I know where they're not, I just don't know where they are. It's kind of a stupid way to start the day crying over lost keys. I'm a wreck. Hopefully this day gets better ;)

Do you ever feel like you're going through a Desert phase in your life? That's me right now. There's not a lot going on and usually I could find something to blog about anyway cause I have tons of useless stuff popping around in my brain. For some reason I've been having a really hard time with that lately though. My brain has been totally empty! Ahhhh! I sit down trying to think of something... anything... to write about and I have NOTHING... Strange. Maybe my mind has been taken over by aliens :o.

I started closing the store on Thursdays. Chris is off most every Thursday so it gives us a chance to spend more time together and since we're not going to open the paintball field for games on Sunday's anymore it's another day we can have games out there and not have to do it on Sundays... Ok did that sentence even make sense? Anyway I'm tired of missing church all the time, or being plain worn out at church because of paintball. I really like to play and it is also a business but I think the whole family has been feeling the stress of being too busy.

I was happy last week when Chris told me he was wanting to slow down. I told him I no longer wanted to work in a pawnshop... well actually I originally told him that when he decided he wanted to open one so I finally was able to speak up for myself and make a decision for me. It might sound selfish but here's my perspective. If I have to work I would like to be doing something I don't absolutely hate. I know there are lots of perks like being able to take off whenever I want and being able to have the kids at work with me, but that job just drives me insane. I spend all day scared to death that someone is going to come in and cause trouble.

I haven't said much on my blog about the pawnshop, mostly because I hate it so much. When I met Chris he had taken over his dad's gun and pawn business. After being with Chris for a year I started working in the pawnshop so he could do construction with his Dad. Finally, after doing that for four years I told Chris I really wanted to try being a stay at home mom. I was pregnant with Logan and I was already having so much trouble packing Emily up to the store every day and as nice as it seems to be able to take your kids to work with you, it's a lot of work.

I really feel like God wanted this for our family as well. I would be able to devote more of my time to taking care of my family and that's what I really wanted to do. Then I was disappointed when Chris said that we would have to sell the pawnshop instead of just close it. I thought for sure that it would never sell and I would be stuck working there forever. It did sell, in only three months. I was officially a stay at home mom as of August 30th 2002, one month before Logan was born. :)

Now in a way I feel like we went backwards... Last year Chris wanted to have another pawnshop. I was pregnant with Brett and had started working for Chris's dad in his outlet store. We really needed the money and I have a hard time trusting that God will provide. So I went to work when I should have stayed at HOME. That was my big mistake because I got sucked into doing this pawnshop again. Chris really wanted to do it and I refused. I said NO NO NO. I couldn't have been more clear, or rude about it. Eventually I gave in and he opened another gun and pawnshop.

Then I had to run the pawnshop while he did construction with his dad... It's felt like going backwards to me. Now Chris has a really good job and he doesn't want to close the pawnshop but he knows that he is not going to be the one working in there so he gave me the choice to make. It's a hard decision because Chris's dad has a lot of interest in the store. If we close it we owe him a lot of money. I want to close it so so bad but I don't know what the right thing to do is. I said above that I'd already talked to Chris and we're going to close it. That's the final decision we came to but I've been feeling so guilty.

I hate it because I said in the beginning NO I want no part of it. Now I feel like I'm hurting people by saying no again. I also feel like my family and my spiritual life is suffering badly because I am in a situation I hate and feel trapped in. I just don't know what the right thing to do is.

Funny I guess I did have stuff to write about after all. Even if it is just complaining. I did some bad things a month ago. Things that I know are wrong and I feel like God has turned his face from me. I know he won't leave me but I also know he won't look upon sin. I don't know how to get back to where I was so I can grow again. I'm so stuck and I'm so sad, I just don't know what to do.

BOOM BABY!!!














Ok today has been THE longest day EVER! We got up at 6:00 am to get all ready for this paintball tournament. We had to drop the kids off at Chris's parents house for the day and be in Springfield by 8:00 am. Everything went smoothly and we got there early :D because I drove :p. (No offense to Chris's driving)

Ok so this is the first real tournament two of us on the team have played. We're Bomb Diggidy :p that's our team name. Anyway Chris T. is a friend of ours and he and I have only played one other tournament and it wasn't on airball and I don't really consider it a tournament. My Chris has played some, but not for five or six years. So this was supposed to be a Novice Beginner Tournament. Two of the teams were way over qualified to be in this game but no biggie. There were a total of twelve teams. We made the finals in second place in our division and then took fifth place overall.

I'm not complaining cause I had a great time but there paintball is all about cheating. I called all my hits and didn't try to play on but there were some really scandalous players out there. To top it all off the reff's were super lazy AND we were all using this dark blue paint that was impossible to see anyway. So there were three games I know FOR SURE we would have won had it not been for cheaters but I was able to walk away happy with the way I played. I really thought going into this that I would be really ticked off by the cheaters but I was having so much fun I really didn't let it get to me. Chris T. our friend on our team was fighting mad when we left though. Hopefully he'll cool off after a couple days. He had a right to be mad considering how scandalous things were but, it is afterall just a game. I had a blast. In the pictures I am the one in the black with the beanie cap on... Chris Thomas is in the blue and my Chris is in the black and yellow pants.

After the tournament we had to rush out to our field because there were people waiting to play. I swear we are cursed. The days we go out and open the field we don't get hardly any players, but the few times that we are actually unavailable people are lined up to play. We've decided to end games on Sundays and play on Saturday's and Thursday nights. I'm really sick of running around like crazy trying to go to church and get out to the field on Sundays. We'll be able to spend family time together and relax which is something we really need.

What a day this is going to be. I'm skipping out on paintball this afternoon so I can do some chores. Having small children is so overwhelming at times. Emily is a super big helper. She can't do much yet since she is only five, but she helps a lot by picking up and putting away. I started having her carry all the dirty laundry to the basement, which is a big job but she gets it done. Logan is three so whenever it's clean up time I have to keep telling him constantly to pick up. He helps some but he mostly tries to find hiding places so he can get out of picking up. If he's wanting to play on the computer I can get him to help out by telling him he can't play until it's done. Brett is only one but he likes to put things in bags. :p He will pick up blocks and stuff but he doesn't know he's picking up. He usually dumps them out right afterwards too so it doesn't really count.

So I was sick yesterday and left work at 10:30 am and came home and crashed on the couch until 3:00 when I had to go pick Emily up from school. I am still not feeling well today but there are no clean towels and no clean bowels or cups :p so I really need to find some motivation to get myself moving. We've locked Brett in the kids room with the baby gate and he's really hating life. Even though there are mounds of toys in there he just wants to stand at the gate and cry at us. He likes to get into the stuff under the kitchen and bathroom sink. Little stinker.

We have a paintball tournament tomorrow. I'm so nervous. I love playing paintball but only for fun. I've watched some videos of professional tournaments and if this one is anything like those I will never play another one. I don't cheat and I don't want to play with cheaters. It seems like the "thing" to do in pro-paintball. When a guy gets shot he'll take off running up the field trying to shoot people from the opposing team. The reff's have to pull you if you have any hits so even though the guy that took off running was out if the reff's don't get to him before he shoots someone else then they're both out. I don't like those rules and it's gonna make me mad if people try to be scandalous to win. Oh well, I shouldn't be so worried about it. I even had dreams about paintball last night lol. I'm totally freaked out.

My mom flew out of Hawaii yesterday to go to Las Vegas to see my brother. She is going to try and keep me posted on anything new that's going on with him. The only thing I really know right now is he'll probably be in the hospital two weeks longer and they still haven't done surgery on his foot. They are waiting for blood circulation to return before they operate. I don't remember if I posted that in my last blog post :p so if I'm double informing you, forgive me please :p.

Emily still has not lost her tooth yet! I thought for sure it woulda came out by now. It's still loose and she's still wiggling it. Surely it won't be in there for another week. :p

It looks like I'm going to be taking a road trip soon! March 20-24 is spring break for Emily so I'm thinking about driving to Las Vegas to go see my brother. I will pick up my sister Misty on the way through Oklahoma and we'll go together. I think my mom is leaving today for Nevada which kinda stinks. It would have been cool to get to see her when we go out. JR should be out of the hospital by then and Misty and I can bug him all the day long since he probably won't be back to work yet. I'm excited to be going, well hopefully to be going. I haven't even talked to Misty yet to find out if she can come with me and there's no way I'm driving all that way alone.

We are taking off early today to go out to the paintball field and practice for the big tournament. I'm so nervous! I play just for fun and I'm worried I'll come up against bad sports who will make me mad. I'm not afraid to get shot, that happens every week ;) But I am afraid of bad sportsmanship. Nothing is worse than a liar and a cheat and I would rather avoid those altogether in the game of paintball ;)

Well I suppose that's all there is to say for now. Not much is really going on lately. Lots of marital drama but mostly over my bad judgment. It's taken care of but seems to keep resurfacing. GO AWAY! :p I can't help it I make too many mistakes. I'm getting the hang of it though ;) Going on seven years being married. That is quite an accomplishment and I'm pretty proud of it. I'm not going to let anything get in the way and ruin it. Thanks for all the prayers for my brother and God Bless everyone.

How exciting! Emily has her first loose tooth. She noticed it the other night when she was playing on the computer and she totally freaked out. She ran over to the couch and was practically yelling at Chris and I, "MOM DAD I have a tooth and it's loose... IT'S A LOOSE TOOTH!" Kids are so funny. She was so excited because her older cousin Devin has lost two teeth already. Emily's is the front bottom tooth. When she went to bed Chris told her to be careful not to mess with it so she didn't choke on it in her sleep. Then she was all paranoid. When she got up the next morning she'd forgotten about it until I asked her. "It's still loose," she says. So I told her if she brushed her teeth it would probably help to loosen it up. She went in the bathroom and brushed her teeth for like thirty minutes! Crazy girl. She told me, "Mom I have a bloody tooth, and it's the loose one." It should fall out in the next few days and I'll be sure to post a picture of it.

I still haven't heard anything new about my brother. They say no news is good news, right? Well I didn't get any calls at all yesterday and I remembered to bring my numbers for the hospital and stuff with me to work today. There is a two hour difference so I am going to try and wait a few more hours before trying to call anyone. Maria and JR defiantly need their rest so I don't want to wake them up. I'll keep posting any extra information I find out.

Here I go again slacking on my blog postings. I'm sorry Mom! :) It's been an eventful week. To start out with I got in a bunch of fights with my husband. We worked things out of course, and are closer now than before. Marriage is great when you have someone who loves you so much that they are committed to never giving up. Plus I need lots of forgiving because I make some of the dumbest mistakes of all time. I have to say I have the most forgiving husband. He is great and wonderful and I love him. I just hope that I can measure up and quit being such a dummy so he won't have to keep forgiving me.

Ok now for the really bad news. My older brother JR has been hurt really bad. He was apparently grinding up the sulfur from matches to make home made firecrackers to scare moles out of their holes on a golf course. He knows the man who owns the golf course and he was trying to help rid him of the moles. Well there was an explosion and he was injured badly.

He lost his pinky finger on his left hand and his foot was badly burned. I've not had a chance to talk to my brother yet and this happened Sunday afternoon. I've heard from family that he had surgery on his hand yesterday and they are supposed to be doing surgery on his foot today. My cousin Jennifer told me she wasn't able to visit him after his surgery yesterday because when he woke up afterwards he was screaming and thrashing around because he was in so much pain. The nurses finally had to put him to sleep because the pain medication just wasn't helping him. I couldn't sleep at all last night. All I could think about was my brother and how he is in so much pain. I just prayed all night for him to be comfortable and not feel so much pain.

I am worried about him as well because the police are saying he was building a pipe bomb. That is a felony and if they press charges he will be in a lot of trouble. Please everyone pray for my brother and his girlfriend Maria. They are supposed to be getting married in June and I know she must be really going through a lot right now. Thank you everyone and I'll try to post more regular.

Lookie what I got for Valentines Day. I was actually surprised even. This is the very first year I have received a surprise on Valentines Day! I was just going with the dinner and a movie plan but now I feel like I should surprise Chris somehow. Oh I know! I'll let him pick the movie :p That will be a big surprise. What's playing right now though. I don't wanna end up seeing some Jackie Chan movie...

Emily gets out of school early today. It's a good thing because she was complaining about an ear ache and upset tummy this morning. I was going to keep her home and she was so upset because today was their Valentines Day party at school. Since it's only half a day I let her go. She brought Zebra cakes and got her teacher a stuffed Zebra. This is Z week apparently too LOL each week they pick a letter of the alphabet to study.

Well I hope everyone has an extremely wonderful Valentines Day.

I've been slacking in posts lately so I wanted to add these little cuties to spice things up :p Poor Logan needs his hair combed and face washed, but I was lucky to catch him long enough to take this picture. Boys are boys ;)

Wow I'm such a slacker. It's been days since I posted! I bet my mamma is about to kill me :p Sorry Mom! I'll try harder to think of things to write about. Poor Logan is still sick :( I had to give him a breathing treatment last night because he was coughing non stop. After the treatment he slept like a log and didn't even snore. I'm going to have to start giving him one a day until he gets over this cold. Brett still has the sniffles and a little cough but he's not had a fever and the shakes like Logan. Emily is still coughing her head off as well. I sent a note to school with her today asking that she be kept inside during recess for a few days. She didn't like that very much but I really think this cold weather is the cause of all her coughing. Tomorrow Emily's class is having their Valentine's Day party. She is so excited that she gets to give out Valentine's tomorrow. In preschool they didn't celebrate any holidays so this is her very first time.

I LOVE MY NEW PAINTBALL GUN! It is the coolest thing EVER! It's a Proto Matrix and it totally rox :p To make it even better I sold my old gun already so now my new one is paid for! I got to play with it Saturday. It was cold and snowing off and on but we die hard paintballers still snuck in a few games. It actually wasn't as cold as I was expecting it to be. We had a nice big fire to stand by in between games to keep warm. I had to be sure to keep my gun warm too ;) Not because I love it so much but because the lubricant turns to gel if it gets too cold, and then it won't shoot.

Poor Chris his gun has issues. He didn't get to play with it all weekend. He has a new Bob Long Intimidator or Timmy for short :p It's supposed to be an even better gun than mine is but he was having tons of trouble with it. He couldn't get the velocity turned down, it was shooting like 390 feet per second! We cap ours at 280 so that would hurt lol. Anyway it kept breaking paint and just wasn't working, so he took it home Saturday night and disassembled it completely. He cleaned every last piece of that gun. Then he put some paint in it and shot it out the front door. It worked perfectly other than the velocity was still extremely hot. So he took it out Sunday and it wouldn't work again. He took it to Springfield today to have it worked on. He was so disappointed to not be able to play with it. There's always next week though ;)