Forgiveness is a tricky thing. The definition of forgiveness is, the act of pardoning somebody for a mistake or wrongdoing. We talked about this last night in our Bible study class. Now I know Christians are supposed to be forgiving. Not only Christians really but everyone for their own well being should be forgiving. If you don't have forgiveness and you hold a grudge it is like poison for your soul. Bitterness and unforgiveness only hurts the person who believes they've been wronged.
Ok but lets say we look at God's example... God is ready to forgive us any transgression, unconditionally IF we repent, or are sorry for our wrong doing. So wouldn't that mean that you cannot forgive someone who doesn't want forgiveness? I know in your heart you might be able to let go of any hard feelings or bitterness but can you forgive someone who is unrepentant?
I would have to say no. God does not forgive the unrepentant. There are consequences for their wrong doings. Although I don't see God sitting up in heaven steaming over all the things people are doing wrong and not repenting of. I also do not believe you can hold someone accountable for a wrong doing they are unaware of. If someone has wronged you and they don't come and ask your forgiveness I believe you should go to them and explain the situation. You have to at least give them the opportunity to seek your mercy. God does that for all of us, we should follow his example.
So for an example. Lets say my best friend steals something from me. I should go to them, confront them and seek repentance from them. If they are sorry and ask my forgiveness I should give it freely. But if they are unrepentant I think, you should, in your heart, let go of any anger and bitterness. But you don't have to extend the former trust you did before the incident. That would be the consequence for their unrepentance. Being angry and bitter will only make you miserable.
It's just a curious thought. I always assumed no matter what someone did to me, I was commanded by God to forgive them unconditionally. I now believe that is not true. If there is repentance then I forgive unconditionally. If there is not repentance I let go of any anger and bitterness and have forgiveness ready when the offender is ready to receive it.
Any thoughts?
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3 comments:
I'm not Christian by any stretch of the imagination, yet take particular lessons that feel right to me from any faith.
Forgiveness is a funny thing. I do not believe in forgiving the unrepentant either. The most evil person can repent of their sins and therefore be worthy of forgiveness and starting over.
On the other hand, there are those who (in my experience) seem to possess little remorse for what they've done.
Also, punishment should fit the crime. Someone who takes utmost pleasure in the suffering of others should be made to pay in full.
However, a self-destructive person should be left to face hell on their own, rather than have physical punishment meted out by earthly beings. imo
Cute pic, btw. Just a compliment.
Hmm, can one forgive the unrepentant. This was for me really put to the test father's day weekend, and continues to be put to the test to this day. My wife ran out with my children and refused to contact me or tell me where she was. Those whom she had contact with would not tell me and those who would tell me she refused to tell either. She went as far as to get a temporary restraining order against me. My world was devistated. I dispared to the point of suicide. Then I came to the conclusion that I must, no matter what, forgive her. You see my forgiveness is not related to her offence but it is tied to my spirit.
Consequences are there for all that do wrong, even the repentent. God does in fact extend his forgiveness to all, the thing is the unrepentent do not reach back and accept it. Christ's word on the cross were "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
While my wife and I have since reconciled she still to this day believes that she did the right thing in running away. She will admit that the retraining order was a mistake but not the leaving. If i could not forgive then there would be no hope for our marriage.
You describe letting go of the bitterness and anger. Well that my friend is what forgiveness is all about. Releasing one from there crime. If they choose to stay in the jail of unrepentence then that is there choice. Like Christ at Calvary opened the door for all to be forgiven, only those who repent and leave the prison of there sin behind truely know the joy of that forgiveness.
Will my wife ever repent and believe that what she did was wrong? That I do not know. I have and continue to release her for the pain that she caused me. Does that mean there are not consequences? There would be those if she repented or not.
So in the end maybe we are saying the same thing, just using different words. I truely believe that forgiveness must be rendered by us to all who have sinned against us.
This after all is the Lord's command to us in the example of prayer he gave us, "to forgive our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us."
Forgiveness is probably the single most difficult thing for us to do. It is made even more difficult by the severity of the crime committed against us. It is yet the most important thing we can do and it's importance grows in proportion to the offense.
Sol
Thanks for the compliment and it's cool to see how the wisdom of God's word is relevant even to non Christians. Just more proof that God knows what he's talking about ehh? ;)
Lion's Cub
I think I agree with everything you said. I however do see forgiveness as a restoration of fellowship. After all that is why God extends his forgiveness unto mankind... to restore fellowship. However the question is can fellowship be restored if one party is unrepentant? In the case of you and your wife it seems yes. I am a strong believer in forgiveness and I try my best to practice it in every circumstance. I am not posting the question out of a desire to be unforgiving. It's only the process I speak of. In my mind the process of forgiveness cannot be fully completed without repentance.
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